How do you know if it's serious?

I have a beautiful daughter who is 7 years old.  She is the most creative and imaginative person I know.  If the imagination and character she shows at 7 is a sign of things to come, she has quite the bright future ahead of her.  However, her skills are almost too honed at 7 years old to be normal. 

My daughter can entertain herself for hours with silly little toys by telling herself stories about them, role playing, and singing. That's great! How wonderful that she can make things up like that! Unfortunately it doesn't stop there.  She tells semi-strangers like her friends' parents or the lady at the after-school programs stories about herself, me, my husband and our lives. Some of her stories are little fibs that may be nothing more than a fantasy, like when she told someone her Grandmother is rich and she gives her hundreds of dollars for her birthday. Some of her stories are out right lies, like when she told daycare that I was a doctor. But here is the thing... she tells these stories with conviction. If you didn't already know that I wasn't a doctor, you may believe her. The woman at daycare even asked me if I was a doctor, even though I have been bringing my kids there 8-5 for the past 9 years. 

What does it mean when your daughter is such a good liar that even Mom doesn't know when she is telling the truth or not... and it happens often.  Story telling has just become such a normal part of her life, she thinks nothing of answering the phone and telling her Aunts and Uncles that her name is McKenzie (which it is not) and then telling them they have the wrong number and hanging up.  Right now people giggle when I tell them this story... they say it is so cute.  Well I watch Criminal Minds and Law and Order.  Cute (and annoying) as it is, I can't help but wonder if I don't have a sociopath on my hands. So she's a story teller. So what. She can also be manipulative. Again, it's cute. Now. But at 7 my daughter can flirt with grown men better than I ever could.  She knows when to play dumb (but does it even when it isn't appropriate) and can sweet talk her way with pretty much anything.  I cannot do any of these things. If I could, I would be a lot farther in my career, that's for sure.

So my point is that my daughter has some dangerous gifts.  How do I as a Mom make sure that she uses these gifts for good and not for evil?  My first instinct would be to scorn her and tell her that the lies have to stop. But in her head they are not lies, they are stories. Would my telling her to stop thwart her imagination and suppress who she is?  Any suggestions on this???

This Is Why I Am Not in Politics

This week I enjoyed the hypocrisy of the American political system.  I say hypocrisy not because I have a structured, logical, intelligent opinion of how the system should work. I don't understand our system.  I did understand it back in 11th grade PIG (Participation in government for those of us who are too old to remember back to high school). On paper, this democracy works, makes sense, and is inspiring.  When I listen to the news and read the newspapers, it makes no sense. It seems that what we as citizens say we need and who we vote for are not in sync. We say we want change, but maybe we are too afraid to deviate from the status quo when it comes time to cast our ballot.  Hence the hypocrisy.

Let's take a look at the governor's race in this great state of New York.  Not because it was the most interesting but because as far as I knew, that was the only election there was. Imagine my surprise when I went to vote and I had to vote for no less than 10 other positions.  Yes I had heard the campaign commercials with other names being thrown around other than Cuomo and Paladino, but I heard, not listened.  I voted for who I wanted for governor and the rest I asked my kids which circle I should fill in.  It's important for kids to partake in the political system. (That's my story and I am sticking to it).  So the NY governor election had 2 main candidates: Carl Paladino and Andrew Cuomo.  This is what I know. NYS sucks right now. We are over budget, people who don't deserve a handout live for free, people who desperately need help can't get it, our education system is demanding more of our children than they are mentally capable of, and I pay higher taxes on my humble home than my counterparts in California.  So what do I want from a governor? Someone that is DIFFERENT than what we have now. Someone who is DIFFERENT than what we have had before now.  Someone who thinks like me.  Someone who has similar challenges as I do. 

Now let me tell you what I know about the 2 candidates. Carl Paladino is a local businessman.  Andrew Cuomo is the son of the ex-New York State governor, Mario Cuomo.  Stop right there. In my mind, this is all I need to know.  The definition of insanity is to do what you have always done and expect a different outcome.  (I heard that somewhere, many times).  So WHY ON EARTH would we vote in the offspring of what got us here in the first place.  Nevermind democrat or republican. I don't know what it means.  I like to think I, and the politicians who represent me, have the freedom to choose the correct course of action each and every time a problem is posed, not decide the course of action based on what my party-line says I should.  And no label can ever accurately define my values, and I don't expect it to define my respresentation's either. 

Many people believe that Carl Paladino had the governor position at hand at the time of the primaries in early fall, but lost his strong hold due to some public displays that swayed the popular opinion.  I didn't follow these stories closely, but one incident involved a "violent" confrontation with the media.  In this confrontation, Carl yelled back to a reporter that he sent his "goons" out to get his daughter and that he would "get him".  Of course, everyone translated "get him" into a threat and the shit hit the fan.  If you read the whole article, you will see that Paladino was agitated because a reporter went to the home of this 10 year old daughter and took photos of her practicing for her school dance through her bedroom window. I don't care if this man made the choice to put his life on display by running for governor. At no time should his decisions put the welfare and privacy of a child at risk. I believe that Carl's reaction was lame compared to what I would do in a similar situation.  People said he "showed a violent streak".  I don't want anyone to be my governor that would roll over and take it when the media violated his family.  Come on, our media is going too far and he called them out on it.  Good for him. I refer back to my previous paragraph, I want a governor who has the same values and me and thinks like me.

Then another criticism of this guy is that he forwarded on an email that depicted President Obama as a pimp and the first lady as a whore.  Oh my gosh, this man forwarded on a political satire email! Oh the horror!  Again, someone who thinks like me.  The emails that I have received over the years.... and the emails I have forwarded on. Some were in very poor taste.  Some I am ashamed of, but for goodness sakes I am a human. Is there anyone who is reading this who can honestly say that they are proud of every correspondence they have sent out? Can you say you have never laughed at a humor that was inappropriate?  I sure can't.  This man was a human, when he got a funny email, even though inappropriate, he shared it. Even better, he shared it with people he was close with, people he trusted, people who betrayed him and gave this information to parties who used it against him.

So I ramble on here about nothing.  I don't know anything about Andrew Cuomo except that he is Mario Cuomo's son. I really don't know anything about Carl Paladino except that he is not a polician and he says the wrong thing at the wrong time sometimes.  (Remember George W. Bush?) So I am not writing this to make a case for Paladino winning, which if you didn't follow, he did not.  I am simply mapping out my thought process in this election.  I am sure there are many citizens who are much more in the know about all the candidates and what they stand for.  I am sure there are plenty of citizens who didn't even know we had elections this week.

So what's the point of this post? Here it is. The New York population has spoken.  Our cry for no more politics as usual and a new Albany has ended with us electing the son of 1980's NY governor Mario Cuomo.  I am sure 60% of NY's population had a good reason for doing this. Maybe he has good ideas on how to fix our state of affairs.  I listened to his acceptance speech. I don't trust him. He reminds me of a preacher, and not the good kind that is all lovey and kind.  At the very fundamental level, we voted in the son of an ex-governor. Tell me how this will not be politics as usual? This is why I am not in politics.

*Disclaimer - I know NOTHING about politics (hence my title).  This article just shows how ignorant I really am about politics. This is purely the opinion of an American who is not really in the know.  If you are entrenched in real, honest politics (smirk smirk) you will probably be offended by this article.  By all means, feel free to leave your comments about why I am wrong. I can use the education! 

It's a Dog's Life

When you enter my house you may be surprised to see my yellow lab mutt sleeping on our new microsuede sectional sofa with quad reclining chairs and his head on a pillow.  People say I spoil my dog. I don't spoil my dog, I just don't discipline him.  He knows he is not allowed on the couch unless there is a blanket over it to protect it from dog smell.  When he wants to lay down on the couch, he will jump on the blanket. If the blanket is not there, he will stare at where the blanket should be and whine until someone puts it there.  And you know what, I am ok with that.

Compare this behavior to my children, ages 7 and 10.  They know they are not allowed to eat in the family room.  There are many an ingenious way to eat in the family room without breaking the rules, such as eating at the top of the family room stairs, where you can still see the TV but technically you are standing in the kitchen.  But my children don't show me the respect to come up with any of these sneaky ways around the rules... they just break them.  After they go to bed I come to sit in the family room and the end tables are littered with juice boxes, candy wrappers, plates, napkins (At least they use napkins once in a while), and popcorn crumbs.  My dog is more respectful.  When we first got him he wasn't allowed on the couch, we came to a compromise where he could be on the couch on the blanket. He doesn't break that rule.

Let's talk about cleanliness. My children each have a hamper in their rooms where their clothes should go after they have worn them. These hampers do not have lids on them, they are open at the top. If the children had to go through the extra step of opening them in order to put clothes in there, well then, I might understand the laziness. Instead my children throw, yes throw, their clothes on their floor. In many cases on the floor right in front of the hamper.  When I come to bring their hampers to the laundry room, I pick up the rogue clothing and put them in the hamper.  My dog also has a "hamper" in the family room. It consists of a milk crate where all his toys are.  My dog knows how to pull his toys out.  Sometimes he will pick up a toy and not want to play with it today. He drops it back in the "hamper."  If a 3 year old SPCA clearance special can put his toys away, why can't my intelligent children put their clothes away?

And of course there is dinner time. I can usually fill up half a plate with the food my 7 year old daughter has spilled off her plate onto the table and what has fallen on the floor. My dog, without the aid of fingers or utensils, never needs cleaning up after his meals. In fact, he helps me by cleaning up after my 7 year old (let me say that in doing this, he does more chores than my children do).

Hygiene. I swear my son's fingers are too brittle to flush a toilet. Boys, just because you did not put anything in there that floats does not mean you shouldn't flush it. Now I am not going to sit here and tell you my dog flushes the toilet. I am not that lucky. But my dog does do his business in the same place in the yard all the time, and he does it in corners, away from the main walkways so if I get behind on cleaning up, I don't risk anyone stepping in it. When we go camping out in the country, he will walk into the woods to do his thing. Unfortunately, peeing is a whole different story.  We can't walk 10 feet without a few stops for the dog.   I guess I will have to deal with that.

So next time you visit my house and notice that my dog eats people food and lays on the couch or beds with his own pillow, maybe now you will understand.  My dog, on most days, illustrates more common sense and respect for me and my house than my kids do. Besides a few table scraps, my dog does not act as if he is entitled to anything.  My dog always acknowledges me and even better, he eats whatever I make for him.  My dog eats less than my kids do. He only needs a bath once a month AND I can pay someone else to give him that bath.  He doesn't talk back to me.  He doesn't fight with other dogs or my kids.    He can go for a ride in the car without partaking in a battle.  He doesn't fight me for control of the car radio or TV Remote control.  He can be left home alone. He doesn't require expensive Christmas presents. My list goes on and on....

If you have children and a dog, you are probably thinking "hmmm, that makes a lot of sense". If you don't have children yet, just get a dog!