The Frustration and Reality of Weight Loss

I go to the gym - I gain weight. I take diet pills - I gain weight. I eat salads - I gain weight. Well, ok, this is all an exaggeration. I don't gain weight but I don't lose weight either which is what I desperately want to do.  The second I stop any of these things, THEN I gain weight. What's a girl to do?

The Sedentary Lifestyle
So what do I do everyday? That's easy... I sit. I wake up and I move from bed to a desk. I sit there for 8-9 hours while I work, occasionally getting up and getting some water or going out for lunch. I move from my desk to a car seat to go home at the end of the day. The good news is I have a second job, where I work from a desk at home for a few hours a week. I come home, make dinner, clean up the house, do some laundry, then sit on the couch to unwind with a glass of wine or water, do some Facebooking (my version of scrapbooking), and watch a little TV. Then I move from couch to bed. A couple times a week I may interrupt TV time with going to the gym for a spinning class and a workout. Now that you have my typical day, is it any wonder my ass is the size of Texas? It's no secret. But how do I get more active while still accomplishing my job(s) and getting some relaxation in? Just because you sit at work doesn't mean you don't suffer mental exhaustion.

Well, I have a family. What do they do? My husband does the same thing I do sans cleaning, cooking,  and gym. At least not during the week. My daughter always has a friend over where they play dress up and house and play restaurant. My son sits on the computer, plays video games, or watches TV from the time he gets home from school until bed time. Lately he has been putting in at least 1/2 hour of basketball practice outside too. I am so proud of him for this.

So how do I not only motivate myself but motivate a whole family to get more active in a cold winter climate when it is dark out by the time everyone is home from work? Herein lies my challenge. I could go to the gym more but leaving your family behind while they are all watching movies to go to the gym by yourself is no fun. It is disheartening. My daughter says, "Mommy, don't go. Why do you have to go to the gym?" I could say "Because mommy is a fat ass and you will be too someday" but I bite my tongue at least on the second half... not my finest parenting.

So what is the solution here? Suck it up for now. Go to the gym, there are no movies that important. Spring and daylight savings time is coming and then you can take the kids for a bike ride after dinner. Plan out some weekend activities that involve the whole family perhaps at Chesnut ridge. If hubby won't go, go without him.

 Cooking Balanced Meals on a Budget
A 'balanced meal' and a 'balanced meal optimized for weight loss' are too different things, at least they are in my perception. When I think balanced meal, I think meat, potato, vegetable.... something suitable for growing children. Baked chicken nuggets are ok as long as they also eat the scalloped potatos and broccoli. When eating to lose weight, you need to optimize for protein and minimize carbohydrates... more lean meats, less or no carbs. This poses two problems to growing children. First, they will starve to death or die nonetheless because I will kill them trying to force feed them lean meats. Sure occasionally they will have grilled chicken or a piece of steak, but grilled chicken, lean steak, broiled fish day in and day out will wear them out. They want chicken nuggets, fish sticks, mac and cheese, ravioli, spagetti and meatballs, tacos, etc. Secondly, children need carbohydrates. They don't have the fat stores that I have, carbs are still essential to their daily physical and brain functioning.

So the logical solution here is to cook for them and something else for me, but here is the catch. I am flippin flat broke. I can barely afford to cook us one meal let alone two. Not only am I low on cash, I am low on time to cook two meals. I know some people who can cook one or two food items at the beginning of the week and eat just that all week. I am a realist. I didn't get fat out of laziness. I got fat out of my love of food and all different kinds of food (and drink). I can't eat the same thing all week, I will fail at that.

Then of course the least obvious hurdle of all. HEALTHY FOOD IS EXPENSIVE. It is the cold hard truth. Produce, non-processed foods, organic foods, leaner cuts of meats...all more expensive than a trip to McDonalds or a box of Hamburger Helper. When shopping on a budget it is very easy to choose the cheaper alternative. I say "well, I will get this hamberger helper, I will just eat less of it".  This is not true and I know it.

My solution here is simply this... This is hard. I have to work at it. Planning in advance is essential. It will hopefully get easier the more I do it because right now, just planning a Tuesday dinner is stressful.

VooDoo Magic
Ok, so diet and exercise are basic weight loss 101. Everyone knows to lose weight you have to burn more calories than you ingest. But I believe in a multi-faceted approach. Why not try a little supplemental help.

It wasn't my intention to develop routine migraine headaches about a year ago but unfortunately it happened. As I began seeing a specialist for treatment, he puts me on this drug called Topamax. Unfortunately, he tells me, there is one very major side effect. Most of his patients experience significant weight loss. (SCORE!). I started the Topamax in April 2011. I have gained 20 lbs.

I recently started seeing a doctor who specialized in weight loss. He did blood tests on me to check my thyroid and all that fun stuff to see if there was a medical reason for my weight gain. He says I am very healthy, just fat. Well, that is reassuring. I think I would rather be sickly but able to shop at the Limited.  He puts me on an appetite suppresant and metabolism booster called Phentermine. Phentermine was one of the ingredients of the massively popular Phen-phen of the 90's. Thankfully it is not the Phen that caused heart attacks. Phentermine by itself is known to boost metabolism and cause moderate to heavy weight loss. Phentermine combined with Topamax is being touted as the new Phen-Phen. I have been on this concoction for 2 weeks. I have also been on top of the gym and diet scene. I have not lost a single pound.

I read the book The Secret. I visualized for hours me as a skinny girl again. That would be around 2004 when all the stars aligned and I successfully became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and maintained a weight of 135 for 2 years. It was so easy then... Anywho not only did I visualize this every night as I went to bed, but I dug up pictures of my skinny days and hung them on the fridge, at work, in front of my washer....the result? That Secret stuff is a load of crap.


The summary of all this ramble is this.. losing weight is HARD. There is no easy fix. (I haven't tried liposuction yet though).  No matter what there will always be a hurdle and it will never get any easier. The fail-safe greatest weight loss tools ever don't work for everyone. And finally the fat on my body really likes it here and doesn't want to go anywhere.