Setting My Plans in Stone
After I met Doctor Burke, I had to daunting task of convincing my family that the autologous reconstruction was the best choice. Up to this point, we had all been on the same page that the path of least resistance was the way to go, and in this case, the path of least resistance was reconstruction using expanders and breast implants. My entertainment entourage was convinced that the method with the fastest initial surgery and least time in the hospital was the best way to reduce risks. They also thought that since the majority of reconstruction cases in WNY go this route, it was the safest bet. I was on a mission to convince them otherwise.
On Wednesday January 30th, I brought my entertainment entourage back to ECMC to meet with Dr. Burke. He had promised to go through the dog and pony complete with white board drawings for my entourage. Once again we waited for well over an hour to be seen and we saw two different nurses before the doctor was able to come in. When he did finally enter the room, he was wearing a nice shirt, a tie, ironed pants, and the coolest pink plaid socks I had ever seen. Immediately, my entertainment entourage knew that this guy was the proper fit.
Dr Burke went through the pros and cons of each type of reconstruction, complete with drawings. This time, since my entourage was more critical than I was, he went further into the complications that can arise from autologous reconstruction, especially if I end up needing radiation, which won't be known until the tumors, breast tissue, and lymph nodes are removed and tested during the mastectomy. The whole time he was repeating to them what he told me the week before, my mind was wandering. I had lost almost 20 lbs at this point and my belly fat was ever so slowly shrinking. Like I mentioned before, when you have a larger than normal backside, you need a larger than normal chest to balance it out. All of a sudden I became terrified that I was going to lose 3/4 of the size of my natural chest. Maybe implants were the way to go after all... but the prior doctor told me she couldn't get me back up to my natural size even with implants, so I was not sure that there was much of a tradeoff. I was a little let down that he couldn't remove the scars from my previous gallbladder removal surgery from 2007. I had plans that when I got my weight under control I was going to get Gerber Daisies tatooed over each of those scars because they were on my stomach. Now those scars are going to be on my boobs... no they WILL BE my boobs. Randomly placed Gerber Daisies may not be so cool anymore... and at this point, my entire chest and abdomen will be one huge scar so what the heck. What's the point? Maybe in a few years I will get a flowering vine tatooed over my soon to be stomach scar. Plus I will be getting nipples tatooed on... me and my tatoo artist are going to become very good friends.
When all was said and done, by looking at their faces, my entourage was really no more convinced that this autologous reconstruction was the right choice than they were when they got there. They were, however, convinced that Dr. Burke was the right guy for the job.
Committing to a Plan
At this point, I had told everyone that I hadn't changed my mind and I still wanted autologous reconstruction, so Dr. Burke said he would call Dr. Lindfield's office and have them call me to schedule. He was currently scheduling out 5-6 weeks so I could expect an early to mid-March surgery date. I was ok with this, even though 2 weeks before this I was freaking out that I had cancer growing in me and nobody was eager to remove it. Between the herbal supplements I was taking and the anti-cancer diet, I was feeling better and convinced that the rapid spread of cancer was no longer a concern. I think the cancer may even have been shrinking.
Sitting there in Dr. Burke's office I came to the realization that the relationship between me and my boobs was about to end, and the replacements may not look as nice. I was going to have to celebrate my boobs while I still had them. That meant tight shirts without being embarrassed that the tightness also showed off my gut or made my butt look big. It meant low cut shirts - I already preferred V-necks over crews but now I was looking for deep V-necks or scoop neck shirts. It also meant I had to go out and get new bras (ones that fit me). Not only were they going to cut my boobs off, the weight loss I had experienced had already taken its toll and the new bras I bought back in November were gapping on the side. The Boob Elimination Period had begun and I was not in any hurry for it to be over. The next 5-6 weeks were going to be "Boobies on Parade"!
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