Prosthetic Boobs

Just because both attempts to reconstruct my breasts failed doesn't mean that I can't have them. First of all, I am going to try reconstruction with silicone implants again in November. Secondly, there is a huge business for prosthetic boobs for mastectomy patients. I could literally shop on a shelf for them. I wouldn't be parading around naked with them, but I could wear them under my clothes and bathing suit so complete strangers don't stare.

Picking Out New Boobs

After my April 15th visit with Dr. Lindfield where her assistant checked my incision scars and my mediport to make sure it was healing ok, I stopped at the gift shop at WNY Breast Health on Sheridan Dr in Amherst (NY). The gift shop is right off the lobby for Dr. Lindfield's.  Upon walking into the small gift shop there was a variety of bras and bathing suits to choose from on the wall.  I asked the woman behind the counter if she had a solution for a flat chest and low and behold she did! As it turns out, silicone breast prosthetics that fit into a specially made bra are quite common for women like me who had mastectomies with failed reconstruction or who chose not to reconstruct.

The woman brought me to a nicely decorated private room and gave me a silk robe to try on.  She measured my chest to find a bra for me, and then she asked me what size cup I would like. I told her I wanted to replace my original size so I asked for a DD. She told me that a DD would be very uncomfortable and heavy plus she didn't stock them. So she brought me a C.  I am glad she knew what she was was talking about because fake boobs are much heavier than real boobs.  When they removed my real boobs, I lost like 4 lbs, maybe 5.  These fake boobs weight like 5lbs EACH!

Silicone breast prosthetics are shaped like a triangle and have no discerning marks, like nipple forms, or

anything on them. They are not meant to be seen. They fit discreetly into a pocket on specially made

mastectomy bras that look just like regular bras from the outside.  The fake boobs are very pliable and soft to the touch, but man are they HEAVY! You don't realize how hard it is to carry around those things you develop as a teenager until you go from flat to a C cup in an instant. Also, when carrying all the weight in your bra, the weight is supported by the bra straps. Guess where that bra strap hangs right on? My mediport.

I have said it many times, ain't nobody or no thing better touch my mediport.  It is still very tender to the touch and having 5 pounds of silicone hanging on it is just not acceptable.  I tell you, the stars have spoken... I am just not meant to have boobs.

But I didn't realize how much it hurt until after I wore it for more than a few minutes, so I went on with my purchase.

Fake Boobs = 2 Car Payments

Here is the kicker. How much would you pay for one fake boob bra insert?  I was thinking maybe $100.  Anything you buy from a store attached to a doctor's office has to have a boutique price, right?  Guess again. Try $300 per boob.  Plus the special bra.  Now I would have walked right out, however the woman at the boutique told me insurance covers it.  Since I have hit my annual out of pocket maximum, my insurance would cover 100% of the cost. If I hadn't, insurance would cover 90% of the cost. Not bad. First, I am thankful that I have insurance that covers these things. Secondly, what the hell is that boob filled with, copper? What in the world could make this cost so much? Of course that's exactly what I asked.  The woman says "Well, silcone is very expensive". The heck it is. I can go to Home Depot and buy a tube of silicone caulk for under $10. Isn't Silicone still made of Silicon which comprises over 90% of the Earth's crust? (And I remembered that from 10th grade Earth Science! I just had to ask Wikipedia to make sure I was on top of my game!)  What in the world can they be doing to this stuff to make it worth $300?  What's worse is that aren't we as a country suffering a health care crisis? Aren't 18.9% of Americans without health insurance?  This is complete robbery of not only the health insurance companies but the women who don't have health insurance. I am not an expert on the subject, but I think that the only reason these boobs are $300 is because they know the health insurance companies will pay for it. That is wrong. I wish I had a better understanding of our health care system so I could speak more intelligently about it. But I tell you this really frosted my cookies... I was pissed off all week about it. Like women with breast cancer who don't have health insurance, or don't have great health insurance, aren't stressed out enough, now they can't have boobs?  Is there any limit to how much these women can be tortured????  If I were richer, I would start a fund for uninsured women to get free boobs.

So it was bittersweet when I left the boutique with two new boobs and a pretty bra with a rhinestone on it. I actually felt like a woman again.  Until I got home after wearing these new boobs for just an hour and had that bra off before I had my shoes off.  Well, they are a nice thing to have for when I am wearing a nice dress or have a vendor in town for a visit.  Some women wear uncomfortable shoes. I wear uncomfortable boobs. It won't be forever, and maybe someday this mediport won't be so sensitive and then I can wear them more often. For now, flat is fabulous!

But Wait, I Spoke Too Soon! 

So as I mentioned I was very upset for an entire week about how the makers of these silicone breast prosthesis rape the health insurance companies, and women without health insurance. I also mentioned that if I was rich, I would fund a program to get these to women for free.  Well, I learned that such a fund does exist already! I was recently advised to call the American Cancer Society.  I called them about their Look Good, Feel Better Program but while I was on the phone with them, I learned about all the programs they have to offer. As it turns out, the ACS offers free breast prosthetics to women with breast cancer.  All they want to know is what size you wear and the boobs are in the mail! In addition, breast cancer patients are entitled to a free wig! And to think I spent over $300 on wigs already.  What's more, is that they are NICE wigs! When they first told me I could get a free wig I assumed it would be a poor quality or they would have 3 styles to choose from. When I went to the ACS office on Audobon Parkway, just five minutes from my office, I was surprised to see they had more than 30 styles to choose from in multiple colors and styles. All the wigs are Paula Young brand which are on the cheaper side price wise, but I am pleasantly surprised to find that they are comfortable, light, and look fantastic! What's better is that it's free!

My New FREE Wig from American Cancer Society - "Meg"

The Look Good, Feel Better program is a cosmetology class geared specifically towards women going through chemotherapy.  It gives the patient high quality makeup and teaches them to use it to highlight their features and learn to do techniques they hadn't had to do before, such as applying eyelashes and drawing on eyebrows.  I am not scheduled for my class until June 24th, but I am excited for it and will update you later.

To get in touch with your local chapter of the American Cancer Society, you can visit their website at www.cancer.org or go to the Program Finder on the Look Good, Feel Better website at http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/programs.