Monday, August 5, 2013
Next step: Radiation
Many people that I have talked to about my journey through cancer think that radiation and chemotherapy were one in the same. They are not.
Chemotherapy is a chemical that is injected or swallowed into your system that attacks cancer in the blood and lymphatic system. Wherever blood goes, chemotherapy goes. Radiation is a spot cure. They point the radiation beams where the cancer is or was and the beams of invisible poison kill the cancer at the spot. I was unfortunate enough to need both.
I say unfortunate here but actually I was very fortunate. I have a few friends who have been going through their cancer journeys for years. Mine was very acute. I was diagnosed, they cut it out, they treated my lymphatic system via chemotherapy, they treated the site of the tumors with radiation. One after another, boom, boom, boom, and boom. And then I moved on.
I didn't feel that way when I was going through it. It seemed like the treatment was never ending. All summer, the only goal I had was to finish chemotherapy. I was certain that if I died from cancer it would be from chemo. The digestive pain and the bone pain was worse than the pain of cancer. I thank marijuana for the relief from digestive pain and I thank disability leave for the relief of bone pain. Me and my recliner and a cold drink became BFF's over the summer of 2013. Extra special thanks to Mike Fix who installed the central A/C in my house so I could convalesce comfortably this summer. Lord knows my Facebook friends got sick of seeing me bitch about my 89 degree house during the summer.
When radiation started on August 5th, I began going to Dr Khalil under protest. I went every weekday M-F through September 20th. Dr Dougherty told me that he couldn't decide if I needed radiation. So he sent me to talk to Dr Khalil, a radiation specialist. He told me that I was on the border between needing it or not. He referred me to Dr. Malik at Roswell Hospital for a 2nd opinion.
Before meeting with Dr Malik, I had decided I was not going to go through with radiation. My chances of a breast cancer recurrence were already down to 16-20% with the mastectomy and chemo. That was good enough for me. Radiation would bring it down to only 5%. That may seem like a no brainer to you, but consider this.... I have not had (a successful) reconstruction yet. Radiation will delay reconstruction by 9 months to 1 year. Until then I will either be flat chested or wear a set of prosthetic breasts. With the mastectomy I lost my nipples (stop snickering). With radiation, the surgeon cannot reconstruct them, the skin is too damaged and would not recover from nipple reconstructive surgery. With radiation, my ribs will forever be softened... which won't be a big issue unless there is trauma. Uh... have you MET ME??? I fall, break ankles, walk into walls, fall up stairs, and am by far the worst driver you have ever met. There WILL be trauma. Dr Khalil shrugged this off, but this was a major concern of mine. Will I break a rib every time I walk into a door frame??? No way, 20% to 5% was not that big of a reduction. I liked my odds at 20% chance of recurrence. I scheduled my reconstruction.
Then I met with Dr Malik at Roswell for my 2nd opinion. Dr Malik scared the shit out of me. She told me that this was my one and only chance to treat this stuff properly. If I refuse radiation and go forward with reconstruction, I have a 20% chance of recurrence. If I fall in the 80%.... awesome. If I don't (Which I have already shown my propensity to fall into the odd part of the odds) it will be virtually impossible to see it. Gone are the days when cancer would grow in my boobs where I can feel it. Going forward I will have fake boobs, so the cancer will grow on the chest wall beneath the fake boobs. I would not feel it... until it has been there awhile and most likely spread. So the crap that I have been through this past year is NOTHING compared to what it will take to beat cancer next time. #1 - I don't want to do any of this again. I am thankful for this experience, once, but I never want to do it again. #2 - there were times, especially during chemo, when I wanted to say goodbye to my family and give up. If this gets harder, I won't survive.
So I reluctantly called Dr Khalil back and agreed to radiation. At the same time I called and canceled my reconstruction with Dr Shastri, my new surgeon. <Insert sad face here>
And so the 3rd party of my cancer journey began on August 5th 2013...daily radiation.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Rebuilding after Chemo
When I finished chemo, I needed something to refocus on while my body recovered. I had been off work since June 12th and working on strengthening my body per Dr Dougherty's orders. The first week of my work leave I started a couch to 5K running program. Never in my entire life was I able to run more than a few hundred feet... not even when I was at my prime in 2005 weighing 130 at 5'7". All my friends run 5K's for fun and I either don't go or I end up staying behind to grill and drink beer (not that this is a bad thing) but I want to be able to partake too! And let's face it... when the zombie apocalypse comes, I was going to be the first one eaten. Learning to run a decent distance is definitely something that was on my bucket list, so why not start now while I have time to do it and I am rebuilding my body anyway. If I am already going to feel like hell, why not feel a little more like hell and do this thing!
So the program that I was using to learn to run a 5K was an app for my iPhone called 5K Runner. I
At the time I finished chemo I should have been in my 4th week of the program, but I was actually only done running 6 times which was 2 weeks in. I would run on the Monday and Wednesday before chemo (with Cosmo on the street) and then get chemo on Thursday and be in too much pain to run the whole next week. So you can say I was doing an 8 week program but at my own pace which looked like it was going to be more like 16 weeks. Now that chemo was done, I had committed to hitting this program hard core and finishing it before my next reconstructive surgery. It was starting to get really hot outside too so I brought my 5K program to the treadmill at the gym. Since I was going to be there already anyway, I would stay after each run to do a resistance workout. I needed to start rebuilding my pectoral muscles since a lot of them were stripped away in my March surgery and build up my arms again.
This program gave me a goal to wake up and work towards again because up to this point, living through chemotherapy was my only goal. The first 8 weeks of chemo were so hard, I told my husband on many occasions that I wanted to refuse further treatments. The nausea and stomach cramping were so bad, I would rock on my hands and knees at night trying to fall asleep through the pain so I wasn't a zombie at work the next day. Then the second 8 weeks of Taxol were so much easier because I was able to sleep, but the bone pain was ridiculous. There were times I would go to eat and it hurt too bad to open my jaw to get the food in (Don't let me fool you, I still found a way!)
The strange feeling when you are done with chemotherapy of "um, now what do I do?" is very unique in that I don't think anyone who didn't experience it could understand it. When that is your entire goal for a few months and you are so focused on it you can't see anything else around you and then you are done, it takes some time to readjust and find new goals. I thought I would be elated to be done and have a nice party... instead, I ran a little and quietly moved on to the next big thing....
Friday, July 12, 2013
The Last Chemo Treatment
On July 11th, 2013 I received my last chemotherapy treatment. It was my 4th of four, 4 hour injections of Taxol (that's a lot of 4's). The Taxol is always administered with Benadryl to prevent a reaction to it, so I slept most of the day while in treatment and laid out in the sun in the backyard when I got home.
It was a bitter sweet day. You would think that I would have been thrilled to be done with chemotherapy so I could move on and my hair could grow back in. In my head, I was. Chemo was definitely no fun. At the beginning I would bring my laptop with me and work while I was getting my injections, but the Taxol made me so tired I wasn't able to do that anymore. Plus right as I began Taxol I took a medical leave from work, so I had no laptop and no work to do on it.
But then I was bored. I thought I would cherish the invitation to just lay down and relax for at least 4 hours every other week but I felt anxious when I was sitting doing nothing. And sleeping in a vinyl lined recliner is not all its cracked up to be. I would sleep and then awake surrounded by a sweat shadow, similar to Adam Sandler's in the movie Jack and Jill because of the plastic.
It was a bitter sweet day. You would think that I would have been thrilled to be done with chemotherapy so I could move on and my hair could grow back in. In my head, I was. Chemo was definitely no fun. At the beginning I would bring my laptop with me and work while I was getting my injections, but the Taxol made me so tired I wasn't able to do that anymore. Plus right as I began Taxol I took a medical leave from work, so I had no laptop and no work to do on it.
But then I was bored. I thought I would cherish the invitation to just lay down and relax for at least 4 hours every other week but I felt anxious when I was sitting doing nothing. And sleeping in a vinyl lined recliner is not all its cracked up to be. I would sleep and then awake surrounded by a sweat shadow, similar to Adam Sandler's in the movie Jack and Jill because of the plastic.
But I actually looked forward to seeing these ladies every other week. The four nurses that knew my name (I don't know theirs even though I tried to memorize them every week) and they would comment every week on which wig I was wearing and which ones they liked most and ask me what I was working on for work... I would really miss them. They always offered me cookies and pie (which I never really liked before, but now crave all the time... thank you chemotherapy) and ask me how my kids were doing. I would look forward to seeing them and telling them everything that happened the last 2 weeks. During my last infusion, a newbie came in to get a tour of the infusion center and see where she would be lying down when she came in and the nurses offered her some cookies. I couldn't help but feel jealous... those are MY nurses! I know that I shouldn't have felt this way, but it's true. I did. Still when I go back to see my oncologist I go to the infusion center just to say hi to the nurses and show them how my hair is growing back in. I keep telling myself that when I return to work and have extra cash again (Like I ever had that even when I was working) I was going to buy them something really nice like an Edible Arrangement or something.
Even though I got my last chemo infusion on July 11th (with the Neulasta booster shot on Friday July 12th) my challenges weren't over yet. I still had the almost 10 days of bone pain and neuropathy that came from the Taxol and Neulasta to live through, and then a follow up appointment with Dr Dougherty. Then... dun dun dun dah! I get to schedule my boob reconstruction surgery!
Monday, June 24, 2013
Look Good Feel Better
The American Cancer Society has some really good programs for women with breast cancer. In the past I mentioned that when I called them, they sent me a ton of literature, a beanie to keep my bald head warm, some fake boobs to keep me looking feminine, and a free wig. One of the other programs they sponsored is the Look Good, Feel Better program.
LGFB is about teaching women who are going through chemotherapy to discover how beautiful they can be in the face of chemo. The experience of going through chemotherapy is different for everyone. My doctor told me I would lose the hair on my head and that's all. He was wrong. I lost all the hair from my entire body, including my eyebrows and eyelashes. That kind of hair loss is enough to scare the crap out of your family when you get out of bed in the morning. I have dark brown eyes and having no eyelashes or eyebrows made my eyes look downright scary. I was scared of me when I caught my refection in the morning. Can you imagine the surprise when people would come to the door before I put on a wig or makeup?
The LGFB program provided top quality makeup to cancer patients and a 2 hour course to teach them how to use it to enhance their features. The course also taught how to tie and wear scarves to cover sensitive bald heads.
I attended the LGFB course at Roswell Park Cancer Institute on Monday June 24th. In my free makeup bag sponsored by the American Cancer Society, I received the following:
I have some before and after pictures. This should just about sum it up.
I am thankful to the LGFB program because when I took this course on June 24th, my eyebrows were already gone. I was drawing them in to the best of my ability, but I always looked like I had one happy eyebrow and one mad eyebrow. After I took the course and redid my makeup I went to the lunch room at Roswell Park Cancer Institute and got a tray of food. Three nurses came up to me while I was waiting in line and told me that I was absolutely beautiful. For no reason whatsoever. I wonder if they knew that I was visiting the hospital just to take this program? Either way, it was much appreciated, especially after seeing myself as the picture I showed you above that morning.
LGFB is about teaching women who are going through chemotherapy to discover how beautiful they can be in the face of chemo. The experience of going through chemotherapy is different for everyone. My doctor told me I would lose the hair on my head and that's all. He was wrong. I lost all the hair from my entire body, including my eyebrows and eyelashes. That kind of hair loss is enough to scare the crap out of your family when you get out of bed in the morning. I have dark brown eyes and having no eyelashes or eyebrows made my eyes look downright scary. I was scared of me when I caught my refection in the morning. Can you imagine the surprise when people would come to the door before I put on a wig or makeup?
The LGFB program provided top quality makeup to cancer patients and a 2 hour course to teach them how to use it to enhance their features. The course also taught how to tie and wear scarves to cover sensitive bald heads.
I attended the LGFB course at Roswell Park Cancer Institute on Monday June 24th. In my free makeup bag sponsored by the American Cancer Society, I received the following:
- Estee Lauder liquid makeup
- Oil of Olay lotion
- Vitamin Cream vitamin E and SPF Moisturizer
- Ponds facial cleansing wipes
- Elizabeth Arden loose finishing powder
- Almay multicolor blush
- Almay mascara
- Chanel lipstick
- Merle Norman lipliner and lipstick combo pencil
- NYC eyeliner
- It Cosmetics eyebrow pencil and brush
- OPI nail polish
- Neutrogena tinted lip balm
Why Chemo Patients Need To Wear Makeup
I have some before and after pictures. This should just about sum it up.
 |
| Me with no eyelashes or eyebrows before makeup |
 |
| Me after learning how to draw on eyebrows and create the illusion of eyelashes |
I am thankful to the LGFB program because when I took this course on June 24th, my eyebrows were already gone. I was drawing them in to the best of my ability, but I always looked like I had one happy eyebrow and one mad eyebrow. After I took the course and redid my makeup I went to the lunch room at Roswell Park Cancer Institute and got a tray of food. Three nurses came up to me while I was waiting in line and told me that I was absolutely beautiful. For no reason whatsoever. I wonder if they knew that I was visiting the hospital just to take this program? Either way, it was much appreciated, especially after seeing myself as the picture I showed you above that morning.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Treatment Takes a Toll
I was doing really well with chemotherapy. I had a positive outlook, I felt really crappy for 4-5 days and then I felt actually pretty good for 9 days. After my second chemo treatment, my oncologist adjusted my Adriamycin dosage and I thought I was tolerating it really well. Things were looking up! But somewhere between the third and the fifth dose, something changed.
The Adriamycin was causing terrible nausea and it made me want to die every other weekend for about five days. After the second treatment, Doctor Dougherty reduced my dosage of the Adriamycin and the nausea subsided quite a bit. It made every other weekend more manageable, still pretty crappy, but more manageable. The nausea may have been less, but it took longer to get past it. I found myself still wanting to die on Saturday and Sunday, but still feeling tired and sick on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I was having a hard time focusing and staying alert for a full day at work. That caused me to have to take longer to get stuff done. So what I used to get done in 2 hours started to take me 4 hours. And then when it got done, there were a lot of errors. My doctor called this 'chemo brain'.
Luckily the days of Adriamycin treatments passed and the Taxol treatments started on June 2nd. I love Taxol because it does not make me sick to my stomach at all! I have already gained back all the weight (which wasn't much) that I lost while on the Adriamycin. That's too bad, I really could have used that weight loss. The Taxol treatment is a little more involved than the Adriamycin treatments though. The administration of Taxol takes a little over 4 hours. It is also really likely to cause an allergic reaction so when they administer it, they also include a shot of Benadryl to prevent side effects. That means that I am as good as out for 4 or so hours. So the Taxol takes a long time to get, but I sleep for most of it anyway. Then, the day after my treatment, I go in again for a 2 hour saline drip to push the Taxol through my body faster and to get my Neulasta shot. Neulasta focuses on my bone marrow to boost the production of white blood cells so that I don't get sick from everyone I come into contact with.
Of course I couldn't be lucky enough to get the Taxol and Neulasta without some pretty wicked side effects. Both Neulasta and Taxol are known to cause bone pain. Put them together and I have become a 70 year old woman with arthritis. I get my treatments on Thursday and Fridays. Then starting about noon on Saturday the bone pain begins. It actually starts a little Friday night with pain in my jaw. This past week I went to the Taste of Country concert at Coca Cola field on Friday night after my Neulasta treatment. I started having issues opening my mouth big enough to get my sausage into it. Yes, it sounds like there is a dirty joke in there....<snicker...>
Then around noon on Saturday the rest of the body goes downhill. It starts with jaw and neck pain, then my shoulders start to throb. By Saturday night my hips and tailbone begin to pound. Then come Sunday the pain spreads to my knees, ankles, and feet. The pain in my knees, ankles, and feet will last another 3 or 4 days, but luckily the rest of the bone pain subsides.
As bad as bone pain sounds, I have to sincerely say that it is a welcome side effect in place of nausea. Nausea is the absolute worst feeling. Here we are on June 18th and I only have two more Taxol treatments left to go so being closer to the end than the beginning gives me motivation to keep going. I am glad that the acute pain in my major bones only lasts 2 days, but sometimes the pain and throbbing in my ankles and feet is so much that I will just yell in frustration. BUT, after suffering terrible heel spurs (technically it was plantar fasciitis) last year, this pain is still less than that could be and knowing it will end makes it more tolerable.
When the Taxol treatments are over, it will take a few weeks for the lingering pain to go away. Then my doctor will decide if I need radiation treatments or not. If I do, I will receive a daily radiation treatment every day for about one month. When that is over, I will return to work. If I don't need radiation, then I will move on to my breast reconstruction. I am really excited to get my expanders put in and start the process of getting my boobs back. Being flat chested was fine in the spring when a big sweatshirt was totally acceptable. However, the summer is a completely different animal.
In two weeks I will see a new plastic surgeon for a consultation on reconstruction. I had a failed DIEP flap reconstruction and then a failed attempt to reconstruct with expanders and silicone implants with my current surgeon. I think the fates are giving me all the signs that I should look for a new doctor. I have an appointment with a new plastic surgeon on July 2nd to discuss reconstruction options.
My oncologist has told me that perhaps the pain from the Taxol and the frustration and dependency of
'chemo brain' would be lessened if I stepped out of the rat race for awhile and focused on better health. As of June 13th, I am no longer working. When I am not in chemo or in the immediate days of recovering from chemo, I am instructed to walk 1-2 miles a day. So far I have been able to keep that commitment. I am even taking my dog with me to keep me at a brisk pace. I even run a little, even though this is a hysterical sight. I caught a glimpse of myself in a storefront window this morning and it was pretty hideous. Picture a heavy set woman with no boobs, no hair, no eyebrows, and no coordination trying to run with a stupid crazy yellow lab dragging her like dead weight. Add to the fact that I just can't run and I can tell you that I go out pretty early in the day when not too many people are on the street yet.
So to sum up this long overdue blog post. Living with cancer was not so bad, but the treatment will kill you! Luckily I am almost done and ready to move on to the final chapter of this terrible disease - reconstruction and recovery!
Goodbye Nausea, Hello Pain
The Adriamycin was causing terrible nausea and it made me want to die every other weekend for about five days. After the second treatment, Doctor Dougherty reduced my dosage of the Adriamycin and the nausea subsided quite a bit. It made every other weekend more manageable, still pretty crappy, but more manageable. The nausea may have been less, but it took longer to get past it. I found myself still wanting to die on Saturday and Sunday, but still feeling tired and sick on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I was having a hard time focusing and staying alert for a full day at work. That caused me to have to take longer to get stuff done. So what I used to get done in 2 hours started to take me 4 hours. And then when it got done, there were a lot of errors. My doctor called this 'chemo brain'.
Luckily the days of Adriamycin treatments passed and the Taxol treatments started on June 2nd. I love Taxol because it does not make me sick to my stomach at all! I have already gained back all the weight (which wasn't much) that I lost while on the Adriamycin. That's too bad, I really could have used that weight loss. The Taxol treatment is a little more involved than the Adriamycin treatments though. The administration of Taxol takes a little over 4 hours. It is also really likely to cause an allergic reaction so when they administer it, they also include a shot of Benadryl to prevent side effects. That means that I am as good as out for 4 or so hours. So the Taxol takes a long time to get, but I sleep for most of it anyway. Then, the day after my treatment, I go in again for a 2 hour saline drip to push the Taxol through my body faster and to get my Neulasta shot. Neulasta focuses on my bone marrow to boost the production of white blood cells so that I don't get sick from everyone I come into contact with.
Of course I couldn't be lucky enough to get the Taxol and Neulasta without some pretty wicked side effects. Both Neulasta and Taxol are known to cause bone pain. Put them together and I have become a 70 year old woman with arthritis. I get my treatments on Thursday and Fridays. Then starting about noon on Saturday the bone pain begins. It actually starts a little Friday night with pain in my jaw. This past week I went to the Taste of Country concert at Coca Cola field on Friday night after my Neulasta treatment. I started having issues opening my mouth big enough to get my sausage into it. Yes, it sounds like there is a dirty joke in there....<snicker...>
Then around noon on Saturday the rest of the body goes downhill. It starts with jaw and neck pain, then my shoulders start to throb. By Saturday night my hips and tailbone begin to pound. Then come Sunday the pain spreads to my knees, ankles, and feet. The pain in my knees, ankles, and feet will last another 3 or 4 days, but luckily the rest of the bone pain subsides.
As bad as bone pain sounds, I have to sincerely say that it is a welcome side effect in place of nausea. Nausea is the absolute worst feeling. Here we are on June 18th and I only have two more Taxol treatments left to go so being closer to the end than the beginning gives me motivation to keep going. I am glad that the acute pain in my major bones only lasts 2 days, but sometimes the pain and throbbing in my ankles and feet is so much that I will just yell in frustration. BUT, after suffering terrible heel spurs (technically it was plantar fasciitis) last year, this pain is still less than that could be and knowing it will end makes it more tolerable.
What's Next?
When the Taxol treatments are over, it will take a few weeks for the lingering pain to go away. Then my doctor will decide if I need radiation treatments or not. If I do, I will receive a daily radiation treatment every day for about one month. When that is over, I will return to work. If I don't need radiation, then I will move on to my breast reconstruction. I am really excited to get my expanders put in and start the process of getting my boobs back. Being flat chested was fine in the spring when a big sweatshirt was totally acceptable. However, the summer is a completely different animal.
In two weeks I will see a new plastic surgeon for a consultation on reconstruction. I had a failed DIEP flap reconstruction and then a failed attempt to reconstruct with expanders and silicone implants with my current surgeon. I think the fates are giving me all the signs that I should look for a new doctor. I have an appointment with a new plastic surgeon on July 2nd to discuss reconstruction options.
My oncologist has told me that perhaps the pain from the Taxol and the frustration and dependency of
'chemo brain' would be lessened if I stepped out of the rat race for awhile and focused on better health. As of June 13th, I am no longer working. When I am not in chemo or in the immediate days of recovering from chemo, I am instructed to walk 1-2 miles a day. So far I have been able to keep that commitment. I am even taking my dog with me to keep me at a brisk pace. I even run a little, even though this is a hysterical sight. I caught a glimpse of myself in a storefront window this morning and it was pretty hideous. Picture a heavy set woman with no boobs, no hair, no eyebrows, and no coordination trying to run with a stupid crazy yellow lab dragging her like dead weight. Add to the fact that I just can't run and I can tell you that I go out pretty early in the day when not too many people are on the street yet.
I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends
Food
So far, this year has humbled me so much more than any other period of my life. I was always an "I can do it myself" kind of person. Whenever people said "let me know if I can do anything to help" I always said OK and went about my business. I always thought that was just something people say, they don't mean it. This year, I had to say "actually yes, I could use your help" more than once. When I received my chemo treatments, especially the Adriamycin, I couldn't cook dinner because the smell of it would make me terribly sick. Now with the Taxol it hurts to stand for too long so I can't prepare a decent meal. Thanks to friends and family, like Cheryl Beeman, Jenna Piasecki, Mary Machnica, Wendy Piasecki, and Tina Lane, I had dinners coming to my house for my family and myself that I didn't have to cook or prepare. Thanks to more friends like Cori Zagara, Missy Groth, Laura Fleming, Kim Stachowski, June Spencer, Carol Lorenzo, and even more that I can't remember, I always had a gift card for a local restaurant so my family could go out without me, or if I was hungry and just had no food in the house, I could grab some dinner.House Cleaning
During this time I kind of said "screw it" about keeping my house clean. I try to keep it tidy, but thorough cleaning just wasn't that important. Until one day I was so disgusted that I just couldn't take it anymore and Melanie Mckowan came over and helped flip over furniture and vacuum under baseboards and behind couches and in cushions. Well one day didn't help me get over my disgust for my dirty house, but I just don't have the stamina most days to go to town on my floors and bathrooms, and when I do feel good, I want to do something fun, not clean all day. This is where my kids come in. Brandon (12) and Sarah (10) have usually helped me when I asked with only a small dramatic production, but I generally didn't ask that often. And when I did, I cut them a lot of slack because they just didn't do a lot of these things often enough to be good at it, like cleaning bathrooms, making beds with fresh sheets, doing dishes, and cleaning up dog poop. Well, now that I can't do it all myself, the kids have a weekly chore list and they have to do these things regularly. This is allowing them to get better at them and they have really stepped up and taken on this new responsibility well. They can see what they have to do the whole week, so they are not surprised. Now that I am home from work, I take the time to inspect their work rather than them just telling me they are done while I don't look up from the computer. If they did a shotty job, I make them do it again. This only happens once and they won't do a shotty job again. They are learning how to have a job and I am enjoying a relatively clean house. It still smells like dog though, anyone want a crazy yellow lab?Cards
Since January, I have received enough greeting cards to keep Hallmark in business another 10 years. I read each and every one of them and have them saved. I was even sending thank you notes to people who sent me a card, but I quickly got overwhelmed and was going broke buying thank you cards. Three cards in particular stand out to me. First, my friend Madalyn Mayer who I worked with for two years in 2001 and haven't worked with since has really been watching out for me. I think we have a bond because we share a birthday (not the year....). She sends me a card every 2 weeks or so with coupons to stores that cater to mastectomy patients, newspaper articles about cancer and cancer resources, or just poems that she thought I would like. Then there is my friend Cheryl Beeman who I worked with for about 3 weeks in 1997 and have seen in person maybe 4 times since then. It is amazing how awesome people come into your life for random reasons and stay forever?! I thank email jokes and Facebook for keeping us together. Not only did Cheryl bring my family dinner (twice) while I was in the hospital, but she sent me a homemade card full of inspiration and funny pictures. Imagine all the funny things you see on Facebook all compiled into a small booklet. She sent that after my second Adriamycin treatment when I wanted to die rather than go back for anymore treatments and it was a real pick me up. Finally, I got a card, a handwritten letter, and a prayer card from someone I had never met before. My sister's boyfriend's mother sent me a packet of inspiration shortly after I got out of the hospital. I still haven't sent a thank you because it took me like a week to figure out who the card was from. When I realized, I was out of thank you notes and haven't replenished yet. This woman I had never even met sent me prayers and an offer to help. This is truly touching and someday soon, probably tomorrow, I will finally send out a thank you note to her.Thoughts for my Husband
My husband and kids have also been suffering. My husband because he is an emotional mess plus I am making him pick up the slack after me. He has had to do more around this house in 2013 than he has the past 13 years of marriage. Most notably, I made him finish building my privacy fence that was started in 2007. Yes I nagged him the past 6 years to finish it, but apparently getting nagged by a cancer patient holds more weight. Thanks to my Dad, brothers, and brother-in-laws my husband gets out every once in a while. He needs to get out more, but can't seem to find the time between work and his addiction to Candy Crush.Thoughts for my Kids
My kids have had it tough because I am making them work (see above). We don't really talk about it, but I suppose when their friends see their Mom with no hair, they tell them things about cancer and ask if their Mom is going to die. They also ask if they can catch cancer by coming into the house. This is taxing on young kids. About 2 weeks ago, my kids received a package in the mail. First, they were thrilled to get a box addressed to them. I am 37 years old and I still get excited to get boxes addressed to me. When they opened them, there was a pink and a blue teddy bear - one for each of them. The bears were sent by the daughter of a client of mine. This client had been my customer in one way, shape, or form since 2001 and I like to think that I have a friendship with him. Knowing that his wife was a breast cancer survivor, he was actually one of the first people I told about my diagnosis. Their daughter, Bella, is one year younger than Brandon and was in first grade when her Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She received a teddy bear, which signifies hope, and began teddypawsforacause.org. TeddyPaws will be opening soon where you can sign up to send a teddy bear to a child whose parent has been diagnosed with cancer. If you can't wait for the site to open, you can email Bella Haurey at bella@exigent.net. Brandon said he was too old for teddy bears, but his bear lives on his bed and is there every night and every morning (except when my crazy yellow lab decides to take him for a walk). Bella Haurey was the first one who sent anything specifically to my kids, and I will be eternally grateful to her for it.So to sum up this long overdue blog post. Living with cancer was not so bad, but the treatment will kill you! Luckily I am almost done and ready to move on to the final chapter of this terrible disease - reconstruction and recovery!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Hair and Boobs Optional
I have cancer. Poor me. NOT!
I am not making a joke of cancer. Cancer is a very serious thing and not to be messed with. But not everything about cancer and chemotherapy is bad. There is a silver lining and I would like to share that with you.
I have a different sense of fashion these days. I used to have to wear Vneck or scoop neck shirts all the time because crew necks felt like they were choking and suffocating me. I have much more flat real estate on the front of my chest now and crew necks are just fine. In fact, now when I do wear my old Vneck or scoop necks, I need to wear a tank top underneath them. It used to be that when I bent over, everyone saw my cleavage. If I don't wear a tank top, now when I bend over all you see down my shirt is my waist. This isn't sad. It has opened up a whole new wardrobe of shirts that never fit me quite right. I used to have to wear a 2XL. Now I can wear just a ladies XL (which graduates me back to shopping at normal stores and not having to shop at the fat lady store or online). I have cheap concert or vacation Tshirts I have never been able to wear before but now I am more than comfortable in. In fact, all my old shirts are now much longer on me, making them look like they fit so much better. I just look like I am dressing better.
In my world, boobs are OPTIONAL! If I choose to wear boobs to work, when I get home at the end of a long day I take off my coat, shoes, hair and boobs. If I am wearing a nice dress or a tailored blouse, I can choose to wear my $600 boobs. If I am just going shopping or going to my daughter's softball game, I can choose to go boob-less. I don't feel the need to wear my boobs to work because everyone there knows what happened. They know that if I show up with boobs that they are fake. Therefore I wear my boobs as a fashion accessory. If I am in the mood that day or my shirt looks good but is just missing a little something, I will wear boobs. If not, I won't, and I don't feel bad at all about it. Best yet, if I do choose to wear my boobs out and I change my mind while I am still out, I can slip them off and put them in my purse on the fly!
I have to tell you, I have the best hair. I have a blonde bob, I have a long blonde face-framing cut, I have shoulder length auburn hair, I have short red hair... and I can wear each of these hairdo's in the same day if I want! Each of my hairdos are styled to perfection and I can be ready to go with them in less than 2 minutes a day. I don't need to wash, condition, blow dry, flat iron, curl, gel, mousse, or tease. I don't have to waste money on hair spray or ponytail holders.
I simply don't have bad hair days. If I want to take a quick nap (not that I have the luxury of doing that on most days) I can simply pop my hair off, hang it on a door knob or a kitchen chair and take a nap. When I wake up, my hair is still perfect. I can go to work on Friday morning with long blonde hair and then go out Friday night with short red hair without spending hours at the salon. Best yet, I can be totally trendy and make my own fashion statement by just going out bald. Most women will never know if their head is misshapen or not. I know. Yes, my head is kind of lumpy and my scalp really was as white as it looked through my hair, but it tanned up quickly.
With all the time I am saving from not having to do my hair, I have more time to experiment with makeup. I think my hair used to cast a shadow on my face because now that I don't have any, it seems like I have way more face to apply makeup too. Even my eyelids seem bigger, so I am having a great time with bold colors, eyeliners, and I actually wear blush now. What makes it better is that chemotherapy actually causes your skin to discolor a little. In my case, that discoloration looks like a tan. Eat your heart out.
Now ladies, if you weren't completely jealous already, hold on to yourselves now. As of now, and probably for the rest of the summer, I don't have to shave. I was given an complimentary, pain-free body wax. Not just an leg wax or an upper lip wax, but a full body wax. I don't have to shave my legs, my armpits, nothing. This means I can save $12.99 every 4 months on Mach3 refills! See! No shampoo, mousse, gel, hairspray, shaving cream or razors... I am saving money everywhere! The only place I still have hair is my eyebrows and eyelashes. I even blew my nose one morning to find that most of my nose hairs fell out. I have to tell you, chemo sucks, but this side effect is pretty cool....
You simply don't realize all the problems that your hair causes. First of all, I can shower in under 5 minutes and then be completely dry in 3 more minutes. I only use one towel rather than one for my head and one for the rest of my body. Sometimes I still put a towel on my head out of habit. Secondly, my skin has cleared up. I always thought I had oily skin. Turns out, I only had oily hair. Everywhere that came into contact with my hair became oily from it. No more T-zone on my face, no more 'bacne', no more shiny forehead. For years I have kept companies such as Mary Kay, Avon, and Clinique in business when all I needed to do was shave my head. Who knew? Lastly, my bathtub drain loves me again. Why did God give me all the hair I had if he intended it to fall out every day? My bathtub hasn't drained in real time in years. No hair to fall out in the shower means no clogs. No clogs means the shower drains quickly and no rings develop on the bathtub which means it is much easier for me to clean. Do you see all the problems hair causes? Glad I don't have to deal with that.
Going through cancer and chemotherapy have brought me to some new experiences that I have to say I would have never had otherwise. For instance, I mentioned that my hair had fallen out. Chemo attacks the hair follicles of your fastest growing hair. Funny that the hair on my head was the last to go proving that my hair is the slowest growing hair in the entire world. However when it did start to fall out in clumps, I was quick to shave it rather than be a source of constant shedding. However, between chemo treatments some of the hair on my head will start to grow back, forming small sections of peach fuzz on my head. As I mentioned, I do sometimes go out bald. Bald is a fashion statement not to be taken lightly. I either go all bald or all hair... this patches of stubble thing doesn't work for me. This morning I had a brand new experience that I never thought I would have. I Naired my head. Can you say that you have ever slathered your entire head in depilatory and then gone to fold laundry for 10 minutes? I never thought I would have said that, but now I can say "Hey, I did that!"
Wig shopping was another of those experiences... Most women never get the opportunity to pick their hairstyle off a shelf and just pop it on their head. You can... any of you reading this could decide to wear wigs right now and go wig shopping. Most of you won't though. I know the thought never occurred to me until getting cancer.
Since beginning chemotherapy I have craved the weirdest foods. This has helped me broaden my palate. Before chemo, I would have never made ginger snap ice cream sandwiches. Before chemo I would have never made a dinner of two strawberry Eggo waffles with a scoop of vanilla frozen yogurt between them. I also wouldn't have made fried bologna with fried green peppers and spinach sandwiches with goat cheese.
I used to have an appreciation for wine. At one point in my life I would drink wine 4-5 nights a week but more recently I would drink a nicer wine a couple nights a week and always when I went out for dinner. Since being diagnosed with cancer I really haven't been able to enjoy my wine much. Prior to my mastectomy I was on such a strict diet I simply couldn't drink. After my mastectomy I was on Loritabs and afraid to drink. Now that chemotherapy has begun, I am not allowed to drink for 1 day before and 5 days after each chemo treatment. For the next four days after that everything tastes like pennies, especially wine, so I have no taste for wine. BUT THEN, on day 10 I usually begin to feel wonderful. Exhilarated really. I want to go everywhere, do everything, visit everyone. I want to go out to eat, I want to enjoy a glass of wine or a mixed drink. When day 10 comes, wine is better than wine has ever been. On day 10, I drink wine like a wine connoisseur. I appreciate the smell, the feeling of it in my mouth, the after taste. For this reason, I am really really bummed that I was invited to a wine tour with friends but it falls on a chemo day. I will have to make up for it over the summer.
So you see, cancer sucks. Chemo sucks worse. However, if you allow yourself to see the silver lining, it is there. I am the envy of all my friends because of the silver lining of chemotherapy. Hair and boobs optional is really the way to enjoy life. Some weight loss would be nice, but I can't be that greedy. Anyway, weight loss means I am sick and I don't really want to be any sicker than I already am after chemo, so this no weight loss is just another blessing in this whole ordeal.
When my kids are grown and I look back on the year 2013 I will say that was the year that I had fabulous hair and a kick ass tan!
I am not making a joke of cancer. Cancer is a very serious thing and not to be messed with. But not everything about cancer and chemotherapy is bad. There is a silver lining and I would like to share that with you.
Fashion
I have a different sense of fashion these days. I used to have to wear Vneck or scoop neck shirts all the time because crew necks felt like they were choking and suffocating me. I have much more flat real estate on the front of my chest now and crew necks are just fine. In fact, now when I do wear my old Vneck or scoop necks, I need to wear a tank top underneath them. It used to be that when I bent over, everyone saw my cleavage. If I don't wear a tank top, now when I bend over all you see down my shirt is my waist. This isn't sad. It has opened up a whole new wardrobe of shirts that never fit me quite right. I used to have to wear a 2XL. Now I can wear just a ladies XL (which graduates me back to shopping at normal stores and not having to shop at the fat lady store or online). I have cheap concert or vacation Tshirts I have never been able to wear before but now I am more than comfortable in. In fact, all my old shirts are now much longer on me, making them look like they fit so much better. I just look like I am dressing better.
In my world, boobs are OPTIONAL! If I choose to wear boobs to work, when I get home at the end of a long day I take off my coat, shoes, hair and boobs. If I am wearing a nice dress or a tailored blouse, I can choose to wear my $600 boobs. If I am just going shopping or going to my daughter's softball game, I can choose to go boob-less. I don't feel the need to wear my boobs to work because everyone there knows what happened. They know that if I show up with boobs that they are fake. Therefore I wear my boobs as a fashion accessory. If I am in the mood that day or my shirt looks good but is just missing a little something, I will wear boobs. If not, I won't, and I don't feel bad at all about it. Best yet, if I do choose to wear my boobs out and I change my mind while I am still out, I can slip them off and put them in my purse on the fly!
Beauty
I have to tell you, I have the best hair. I have a blonde bob, I have a long blonde face-framing cut, I have shoulder length auburn hair, I have short red hair... and I can wear each of these hairdo's in the same day if I want! Each of my hairdos are styled to perfection and I can be ready to go with them in less than 2 minutes a day. I don't need to wash, condition, blow dry, flat iron, curl, gel, mousse, or tease. I don't have to waste money on hair spray or ponytail holders.
I simply don't have bad hair days. If I want to take a quick nap (not that I have the luxury of doing that on most days) I can simply pop my hair off, hang it on a door knob or a kitchen chair and take a nap. When I wake up, my hair is still perfect. I can go to work on Friday morning with long blonde hair and then go out Friday night with short red hair without spending hours at the salon. Best yet, I can be totally trendy and make my own fashion statement by just going out bald. Most women will never know if their head is misshapen or not. I know. Yes, my head is kind of lumpy and my scalp really was as white as it looked through my hair, but it tanned up quickly.
With all the time I am saving from not having to do my hair, I have more time to experiment with makeup. I think my hair used to cast a shadow on my face because now that I don't have any, it seems like I have way more face to apply makeup too. Even my eyelids seem bigger, so I am having a great time with bold colors, eyeliners, and I actually wear blush now. What makes it better is that chemotherapy actually causes your skin to discolor a little. In my case, that discoloration looks like a tan. Eat your heart out.
Personal Care
Now ladies, if you weren't completely jealous already, hold on to yourselves now. As of now, and probably for the rest of the summer, I don't have to shave. I was given an complimentary, pain-free body wax. Not just an leg wax or an upper lip wax, but a full body wax. I don't have to shave my legs, my armpits, nothing. This means I can save $12.99 every 4 months on Mach3 refills! See! No shampoo, mousse, gel, hairspray, shaving cream or razors... I am saving money everywhere! The only place I still have hair is my eyebrows and eyelashes. I even blew my nose one morning to find that most of my nose hairs fell out. I have to tell you, chemo sucks, but this side effect is pretty cool....
You simply don't realize all the problems that your hair causes. First of all, I can shower in under 5 minutes and then be completely dry in 3 more minutes. I only use one towel rather than one for my head and one for the rest of my body. Sometimes I still put a towel on my head out of habit. Secondly, my skin has cleared up. I always thought I had oily skin. Turns out, I only had oily hair. Everywhere that came into contact with my hair became oily from it. No more T-zone on my face, no more 'bacne', no more shiny forehead. For years I have kept companies such as Mary Kay, Avon, and Clinique in business when all I needed to do was shave my head. Who knew? Lastly, my bathtub drain loves me again. Why did God give me all the hair I had if he intended it to fall out every day? My bathtub hasn't drained in real time in years. No hair to fall out in the shower means no clogs. No clogs means the shower drains quickly and no rings develop on the bathtub which means it is much easier for me to clean. Do you see all the problems hair causes? Glad I don't have to deal with that.
New Experiences
Going through cancer and chemotherapy have brought me to some new experiences that I have to say I would have never had otherwise. For instance, I mentioned that my hair had fallen out. Chemo attacks the hair follicles of your fastest growing hair. Funny that the hair on my head was the last to go proving that my hair is the slowest growing hair in the entire world. However when it did start to fall out in clumps, I was quick to shave it rather than be a source of constant shedding. However, between chemo treatments some of the hair on my head will start to grow back, forming small sections of peach fuzz on my head. As I mentioned, I do sometimes go out bald. Bald is a fashion statement not to be taken lightly. I either go all bald or all hair... this patches of stubble thing doesn't work for me. This morning I had a brand new experience that I never thought I would have. I Naired my head. Can you say that you have ever slathered your entire head in depilatory and then gone to fold laundry for 10 minutes? I never thought I would have said that, but now I can say "Hey, I did that!"
Wig shopping was another of those experiences... Most women never get the opportunity to pick their hairstyle off a shelf and just pop it on their head. You can... any of you reading this could decide to wear wigs right now and go wig shopping. Most of you won't though. I know the thought never occurred to me until getting cancer.
Appetite
Since beginning chemotherapy I have craved the weirdest foods. This has helped me broaden my palate. Before chemo, I would have never made ginger snap ice cream sandwiches. Before chemo I would have never made a dinner of two strawberry Eggo waffles with a scoop of vanilla frozen yogurt between them. I also wouldn't have made fried bologna with fried green peppers and spinach sandwiches with goat cheese.
I used to have an appreciation for wine. At one point in my life I would drink wine 4-5 nights a week but more recently I would drink a nicer wine a couple nights a week and always when I went out for dinner. Since being diagnosed with cancer I really haven't been able to enjoy my wine much. Prior to my mastectomy I was on such a strict diet I simply couldn't drink. After my mastectomy I was on Loritabs and afraid to drink. Now that chemotherapy has begun, I am not allowed to drink for 1 day before and 5 days after each chemo treatment. For the next four days after that everything tastes like pennies, especially wine, so I have no taste for wine. BUT THEN, on day 10 I usually begin to feel wonderful. Exhilarated really. I want to go everywhere, do everything, visit everyone. I want to go out to eat, I want to enjoy a glass of wine or a mixed drink. When day 10 comes, wine is better than wine has ever been. On day 10, I drink wine like a wine connoisseur. I appreciate the smell, the feeling of it in my mouth, the after taste. For this reason, I am really really bummed that I was invited to a wine tour with friends but it falls on a chemo day. I will have to make up for it over the summer.
So you see, cancer sucks. Chemo sucks worse. However, if you allow yourself to see the silver lining, it is there. I am the envy of all my friends because of the silver lining of chemotherapy. Hair and boobs optional is really the way to enjoy life. Some weight loss would be nice, but I can't be that greedy. Anyway, weight loss means I am sick and I don't really want to be any sicker than I already am after chemo, so this no weight loss is just another blessing in this whole ordeal.
When my kids are grown and I look back on the year 2013 I will say that was the year that I had fabulous hair and a kick ass tan!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Prosthetic Boobs
Just because both attempts to reconstruct my breasts failed doesn't mean that I can't have them. First of all, I am going to try reconstruction with silicone implants again in November. Secondly, there is a huge business for prosthetic boobs for mastectomy patients. I could literally shop on a shelf for them. I wouldn't be parading around naked with them, but I could wear them under my clothes and bathing suit so complete strangers don't stare.
After my April 15th visit with Dr. Lindfield where her assistant checked my incision scars and my mediport to make sure it was healing ok, I stopped at the gift shop at WNY Breast Health on Sheridan Dr in Amherst (NY). The gift shop is right off the lobby for Dr. Lindfield's. Upon walking into the small gift shop there was a variety of bras and bathing suits to choose from on the wall. I asked the woman behind the counter if she had a solution for a flat chest and low and behold she did! As it turns out, silicone breast prosthetics that fit into a specially made bra are quite common for women like me who had mastectomies with failed reconstruction or who chose not to reconstruct.
The woman brought me to a nicely decorated private room and gave me a silk robe to try on. She measured my chest to find a bra for me, and then she asked me what size cup I would like. I told her I wanted to replace my original size so I asked for a DD. She told me that a DD would be very uncomfortable and heavy plus she didn't stock them. So she brought me a C. I am glad she knew what she was was talking about because fake boobs are much heavier than real boobs. When they removed my real boobs, I lost like 4 lbs, maybe 5. These fake boobs weight like 5lbs EACH!
Silicone breast prosthetics are shaped like a triangle and have no discerning marks, like nipple forms, or
anything on them. They are not meant to be seen. They fit discreetly into a pocket on specially made
mastectomy bras that look just like regular bras from the outside. The fake boobs are very pliable and soft to the touch, but man are they HEAVY! You don't realize how hard it is to carry around those things you develop as a teenager until you go from flat to a C cup in an instant. Also, when carrying all the weight in your bra, the weight is supported by the bra straps. Guess where that bra strap hangs right on? My mediport.
I have said it many times, ain't nobody or no thing better touch my mediport. It is still very tender to the touch and having 5 pounds of silicone hanging on it is just not acceptable. I tell you, the stars have spoken... I am just not meant to have boobs.
But I didn't realize how much it hurt until after I wore it for more than a few minutes, so I went on with my purchase.
So it was bittersweet when I left the boutique with two new boobs and a pretty bra with a rhinestone on it. I actually felt like a woman again. Until I got home after wearing these new boobs for just an hour and had that bra off before I had my shoes off. Well, they are a nice thing to have for when I am wearing a nice dress or have a vendor in town for a visit. Some women wear uncomfortable shoes. I wear uncomfortable boobs. It won't be forever, and maybe someday this mediport won't be so sensitive and then I can wear them more often. For now, flat is fabulous!
The Look Good, Feel Better program is a cosmetology class geared specifically towards women going through chemotherapy. It gives the patient high quality makeup and teaches them to use it to highlight their features and learn to do techniques they hadn't had to do before, such as applying eyelashes and drawing on eyebrows. I am not scheduled for my class until June 24th, but I am excited for it and will update you later.
Picking Out New Boobs
After my April 15th visit with Dr. Lindfield where her assistant checked my incision scars and my mediport to make sure it was healing ok, I stopped at the gift shop at WNY Breast Health on Sheridan Dr in Amherst (NY). The gift shop is right off the lobby for Dr. Lindfield's. Upon walking into the small gift shop there was a variety of bras and bathing suits to choose from on the wall. I asked the woman behind the counter if she had a solution for a flat chest and low and behold she did! As it turns out, silicone breast prosthetics that fit into a specially made bra are quite common for women like me who had mastectomies with failed reconstruction or who chose not to reconstruct.
The woman brought me to a nicely decorated private room and gave me a silk robe to try on. She measured my chest to find a bra for me, and then she asked me what size cup I would like. I told her I wanted to replace my original size so I asked for a DD. She told me that a DD would be very uncomfortable and heavy plus she didn't stock them. So she brought me a C. I am glad she knew what she was was talking about because fake boobs are much heavier than real boobs. When they removed my real boobs, I lost like 4 lbs, maybe 5. These fake boobs weight like 5lbs EACH!
Silicone breast prosthetics are shaped like a triangle and have no discerning marks, like nipple forms, or
But I didn't realize how much it hurt until after I wore it for more than a few minutes, so I went on with my purchase.
Fake Boobs = 2 Car Payments
Here is the kicker. How much would you pay for one fake boob bra insert? I was thinking maybe $100. Anything you buy from a store attached to a doctor's office has to have a boutique price, right? Guess again. Try $300 per boob. Plus the special bra. Now I would have walked right out, however the woman at the boutique told me insurance covers it. Since I have hit my annual out of pocket maximum, my insurance would cover 100% of the cost. If I hadn't, insurance would cover 90% of the cost. Not bad. First, I am thankful that I have insurance that covers these things. Secondly, what the hell is that boob filled with, copper? What in the world could make this cost so much? Of course that's exactly what I asked. The woman says "Well, silcone is very expensive". The heck it is. I can go to Home Depot and buy a tube of silicone caulk for under $10. Isn't Silicone still made of Silicon which comprises over 90% of the Earth's crust? (And I remembered that from 10th grade Earth Science! I just had to ask Wikipedia to make sure I was on top of my game!) What in the world can they be doing to this stuff to make it worth $300? What's worse is that aren't we as a country suffering a health care crisis? Aren't 18.9% of Americans without health insurance? This is complete robbery of not only the health insurance companies but the women who don't have health insurance. I am not an expert on the subject, but I think that the only reason these boobs are $300 is because they know the health insurance companies will pay for it. That is wrong. I wish I had a better understanding of our health care system so I could speak more intelligently about it. But I tell you this really frosted my cookies... I was pissed off all week about it. Like women with breast cancer who don't have health insurance, or don't have great health insurance, aren't stressed out enough, now they can't have boobs? Is there any limit to how much these women can be tortured???? If I were richer, I would start a fund for uninsured women to get free boobs.So it was bittersweet when I left the boutique with two new boobs and a pretty bra with a rhinestone on it. I actually felt like a woman again. Until I got home after wearing these new boobs for just an hour and had that bra off before I had my shoes off. Well, they are a nice thing to have for when I am wearing a nice dress or have a vendor in town for a visit. Some women wear uncomfortable shoes. I wear uncomfortable boobs. It won't be forever, and maybe someday this mediport won't be so sensitive and then I can wear them more often. For now, flat is fabulous!
But Wait, I Spoke Too Soon!
So as I mentioned I was very upset for an entire week about how the makers of these silicone breast prosthesis rape the health insurance companies, and women without health insurance. I also mentioned that if I was rich, I would fund a program to get these to women for free. Well, I learned that such a fund does exist already! I was recently advised to call the American Cancer Society. I called them about their Look Good, Feel Better Program but while I was on the phone with them, I learned about all the programs they have to offer. As it turns out, the ACS offers free breast prosthetics to women with breast cancer. All they want to know is what size you wear and the boobs are in the mail! In addition, breast cancer patients are entitled to a free wig! And to think I spent over $300 on wigs already. What's more, is that they are NICE wigs! When they first told me I could get a free wig I assumed it would be a poor quality or they would have 3 styles to choose from. When I went to the ACS office on Audobon Parkway, just five minutes from my office, I was surprised to see they had more than 30 styles to choose from in multiple colors and styles. All the wigs are Paula Young brand which are on the cheaper side price wise, but I am pleasantly surprised to find that they are comfortable, light, and look fantastic! What's better is that it's free! |
| My New FREE Wig from American Cancer Society - "Meg" |
The Look Good, Feel Better program is a cosmetology class geared specifically towards women going through chemotherapy. It gives the patient high quality makeup and teaches them to use it to highlight their features and learn to do techniques they hadn't had to do before, such as applying eyelashes and drawing on eyebrows. I am not scheduled for my class until June 24th, but I am excited for it and will update you later.
To get in touch with your local chapter of the American Cancer Society, you can visit their website at www.cancer.org or go to the Program Finder on the Look Good, Feel Better website at http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/programs.
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