4 Days and 5 Nights with Frankenboobs

Settling In

After I came out of the anesthetic from my surgery I was brought to my private room at ECMC.  Thank goodness they didn't ask but just gave me a private room because I would spend much of the next week nearly naked. 

My husband, Grandmother, and Dad's girlfriend Cathy accompanied me to my room. My Dad couldn't come because at some point during the 13 hour surgery, he discovered he had come down with a pretty intense flu and it was highly contagious.  So while I was in surgery, he was at Immediate Care getting medicine.  I guess when it rains, it pours. Once I was in the room, the nurses hooked me up to various machines... one suction machine that would empty the 6 surgical drains that were inserted throughout my abdomen, a catheter that would remain in place for at least another 2 days, an IV for fluids, a morphine drip with a fun push button that I could use at my leisure (this was the highlight of my stay), and an oxygen tube that was stuffed up my nose. This was not fun. It's a good thing that it hurt to breathe because actually moving was going to prove to be a challenge.

Once the nurses left the room, my entourage (and myself) couldn't wait to see the results.  My gown was only draped over me so I pulled it down to check it out.  My stomach was pretty much as flat as I could ever remember it being.  That was nice.  My boobs were practically in my chin.  They were nice boobs. Very full, at least a D cup if not a DD.  I was happy. I was going to be happy. I have pictures of what the 'Frankenboobs' looked like, but after discussing with my husband, we decided not to show them publicly.  So instead I will draw a picture! (My college almost art degree at work!)

The outside of each boob was my original skin, but my belly skin was patched over about 1/2 of each boob creating a pocket and each pocket was bursting at the seams.  The skin was stitched on. I was expecting a clean, perfect looking stitch but this was not.  This looked like something you would see on a voodoo doll. As I mentioned, I had 2 patches stitched onto my very full and very swollen new boobs. I had a slit with pretty stitches under each of my armpits, I had 1 nicely stitched slit connecting my hip bones right across my underwear line, then I had 4 holes on the side of my ribs where my chest drains came out and 2 holes above my pubic bone where the abdomenal drains came out. I am very lucky that I couldn't get a full on look because blood makes me somewhat queasy... even when my kids scrape their knees I get that sick to my stomach feeling.  This would have brought this to whole new levels.  My entourage convinced me that everything looked good. I can't, no matter how I visualize, imagine how this would have looked good.  Once everyone was convinced that my vitals were strong and I was properly medicated and ready to sleep, they all left to go home.  It was 11:00 at night and everyone had been there since 6am. I had the easy part on this day.  I felt like I just got there a few hours ago. Everyone else looked completely exhausted, hungry, and slightly nauseated.  After I saw the pictures, I understood.

Bad News

Bright and early the next day I was visited by Dr. Loree, Dr Burke's counterpart.  As it happened, Dr Burke had to go to Texas (my favorite place in the whole world) for a conference and left immediately following my surgery the night before. He was not due back until Monday. So Dr Loree introduced himself and advised me that he did the surgery with Dr Burke. Unfortunately, Dr Loree told me that there were problems during surgery. They had a very hard time microscopically connecting the main blood vessels from the chest to the blood vessels from the belly tissue. This is why the 9 hour surgery turned into a 13 hour surgery. Dr Loree was very concerned about the viability of the right breast.  Every 4 hours, the nurse was instructed to come in and take a doppler reading of both breasts.  To do this, they had to take a wand and listen for blood moving in and out of each breast. They would listen on the transplanted patch itself and they would listen above the chest where the main blood vessel was connected.  As long as a heartbeat could be detected, there was hope for the survival of the transplanted patch of skin and tissue.  So far there was a heartbeat everywhere they checked so we were good... but it was faint. My job was to work on getting that to a more healthy blood flow over the weekend.

I don't remember much from my first night or my first full day in the hospital. I remember that the nurse told me that I could get one shot of morphine every 6 minutes.  I heard this as I can get up to 6 shots of morphine once an hour. Why I so misheard this, I couldn't tell you.  My family says it is because I was so doped up still.  Now, as I write this a few weeks later, I still mis-hear people's statements and cannot hold my attention to a conversation for more than a few minutes. I actually think I endured some sort of brain damage from being under so long. Everyone else laughs at that, but time will tell. Not being able to comprehend much of what was said to me was pretty typical of my stay at ECMC, which is why it is so unusual what happened next. The surgical resident and his med student came through on rounds to talk to me. They asked my Grandmother and Cathy, who were both pretty much in the room with me constantly, to leave the room so they could talk to me alone.  They were with me for about 10 minutes and I can tell you 2 things that were said.  They said "not likely viable" and they said "blood transfusion".  When Cathy and Grandma came back in, they asked me what they said and I said "I don't know".  That was private time well spent.  I mentioned the blood transfusion to Cathy and Grandma who asked the nurses. The nurses said that was not on the charts so they had no idea what I was talking about.  Cathy and Grandma attributed my misinformation to the morphine and pointed out to Dr Loree that it was not appropriate to make them leave an important conversation when (1) I was highly medicated and (2) I said they could stay.  This complaint was duly noted and this oversight did not happen again. 

The Blood Transfusions

Saturday morning everyone was exhausted from being in the hospital, and as a super nice surprise to all us Buffalonians, it was 60 degrees out. A nice change from the low 30's we had been experiencing. So everyone, including my husband, took the morning and early afternoon off and spent some time outside. In addition to it being a beautiful day outside, it was also my husband's 41st birthday so he was excused.  In the preparation for surgery I had not gotten him anything for his birthday (except a party the weekend before).  I still need to come up with an awesome birthday present to make up for this one. (Suggestions welcome.)

So of course this would be the time that the nurse came in and told me that I was getting a blood transfusion.  She made me sign a consent form to receive blood and 2 nurses had to verify my identity and the identity of the blood I was about to receive. I felt very confident that I was receiving the proper blood type. However when the nurses read me the list of possible side effects, I have to say I got scared.  I started texting people to come up. The nurses weren't going to stay in the room with me and if I started having any of these symptoms I wanted someone there to see them and report them.  Everyone was on their way. 

The nurse told me I could not have the morphine shots while receiving blood.  She got me all hooked up, removed the morphine, then backed away and looked at the blood sack. Then she said, "Ya know, I am going to let that sit for a while before I start. I'll be back in a half hour" and she left.  What the hell!!!!! You disconnect my pain killer and then decide to delay for a half hour???  Maybe there was a good reason for the delay, but the nonchalantness in her voice sounded like she just thought of something better she had to be doing right now. I am sure it was in my imagination but remember I still couldn't move. Still connected to a catheter and suction,  I was still unable to get out of bed.  The only thing I could do was use my phone so I started frantically texting my husband and Cathy... "Please hurry! The nurse is trying to kill me!"  The nurse finally came back in around noon and started my blood transfusion.  About an hour or so later, my husband arrived.  As luck would have it, I had no side effects to the blood transfusion which was a good thing. Not only for obvious reasons, but because apparently one wasn't enough.  When all was said and done, I would end up needing 3 blood transfusions.

Natural Healing

As the weekend went on, my 'frankenboobs' started to look a little less healthy. The heartbeat was getting fainter and the color was going from pink to blue and red mottled. The blood supply was dwindling. My grandmother was up in the hospital almost continuously throughout the weekend.  She came to the hospital prepared with healing herbs and some tricks.  Throughout the weekend, we would 'annoint' the dying skin with an herb concoction called "Rescue Remedy" which is known to heal burns, cuts, and other topical skin ailments. When consumed, it is known to help colds and flus.   She did this a few times over the weekend.  We were all highly encouraged because when the nurses came in to get the pulse, it was not only there but getting stronger!

Dr Burke Returns

Dr Burke's Surgical Cap

On Monday, Dr Burke returned from Texas but this time he wasn't wearing a super cool tie or pink socks. He was wearing a surgical cap with all the United States pictures all over it. I know this because I didn't hear much of what he had to say, I just stared at this cap. (See? I told you I suffered brain damage).  He talked to me and my family about 10 minutes but what I remember is this.  Blood is going to the right breast, but it is not flowing away from the right breast. So the right breast is becoming engorged in blood and the skin is dying. It was now blue and blistered.  In addition, part of the left breast was dying now too.  About 1/4 of the transplanted skin on the left was turning blue and starting to blister.  Things did not look good.  Dr Burke was going to schedule surgery for Tuesday to remove the right breast. He will probably need to remove part of the left breast but most of it could stay. 

So the course of action would be to remove the right breast and put in a tissue expander.  Then over the next year we would pump up the tissue expander a little at a time until it was almost the size of the other breast. Then they would remove the expander, put in a silicone implant, and cover it up with a flap of skin from my back.  While that expander is working over the next year, I would have one full boob and one flat or very small boob.  Or I could make the choice to have both breasts removed and start over with 2 tissue expanders.  I had until surgery time at 1:00 Tuesday afternoon to decide.

This was very sad news.  For everything that I had endured - 13 hours of surgery, 3 blood transfusions, some puking on myself (I spared you those details), some bed sores on my legs and feet, and worst of all, I was given a shower by my grandmother - all for nothing.  This news was like hearing that a loved one who was hanging on to hope with life support was about to have the plug pulled.  It was deflating.  I just kept thinking at least I have a nice flat, fat free stomach. That's something right?