Bye-Bye Boobie Party

I mentioned in my past posts that since my diagnosis I was on a very strict diet including no sugar, no dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol, no beef or pork, and no fruit. This diet is exhalted by many to result in slowed cancer growth.

I was sticking to my diet and herbal supplement plan unfailingly since January 8th, but I really really missed my wine.  Due to my surgery and preoccupation with surgery, I was going to miss drinking at a lot of fun social activities, like Valentine's Day, my anniversary, Super Bowl Sunday, and St Patty's Day. So once I had my surgery date scheduled, I also scheduled a party of sorts... one day that I could look forward to where I could hang out with friends, have some drinks, and eat some chicken wings, french fries or mozzarella sticks (3 things I craved desperately).  The weekend after my biopsy but before my diagnosis I went out with my BFF of 30+ years to a bar on a Saturday night. We had fun but I wore baggy jeans and a turtleneck... I clearly was totally out of practice on this bar thing, so I decided that not only was I going to have a party, but I was going to wear my most cleavage bearing, sexiest outfit I owned (which I actually didn't own any of , but I was going to get). I had to show off the girls and act like a girl should in a bar one more time before real boobs became a thing of the past for me. And so the concept of a "Bye-Bye-Boobie" party was born. 

Planning a Bye-Bye-Boobie Party

I planned my BBB party for Friday March 1st, the last Friday before my surgery.  It was already a busy weekend for me... Saturday morning I had to help my friend move, Saturday afternoon I had one last massage planned to try to fix my lower back pain before surgery, Saturday night I wanted to take the kids snow tubing, Sunday afternoon I was hosting a 10th birthday party for my daughter and also a birthday party for my husband. Then Sunday night we had league bowling.  Lots and lots to do.  And I was going to kick it all off at a bar Friday night. You have to understand that this logic really makes no sense to me.  I kept rolling my eyes at myself that with everything I had to get done I was going to waste time at a bar... but I just really wanted to do it, and this time, my id won out over my ego.

I spoke to my good friend Cori who owns Blue Wall which is an awesome place to hang out for drinks, has great food, darts, and a large room to hang out where it is not so loud. She offered me a great flat rate drinking deal for 3 hours for all guests. The only problem was that it was 20 minutes away and we were going to both be drinking (Hubby and I)  and the kids would be home, maybe alone.  We needed something closer. 

So being close to Transit Rd, I mentally walked down the street and thought of which bars are there. I wanted to put out an open invite but thought it was awkward. "Hey, come out and drink with me and see my cleavage one last time!".  Who would come to that???  Then I found this bar that has been like 5 bars (when it was even open) since I moved to Lancaster in 2001. It was now called Dee's Firehouse Bar and Grill and it was huge! There was one level that had a comfy bar, another level for pool, darts, and a dance floor, and then 2 semi-separated rooms for people to sit and eat where it wasn't so loud. And it was on the way to the Depew Boys and Girls Club where my kids hang out. So I stopped in one night on my way to get the kids and asked to speak with Dee (I did some research on Urban Spoon to learn that Dee was in fact the owner). Dee happened to be in that night and she was a pleasant blonde woman. Being that I am not shy, I came right out and told her that I wanted to have a bye-bye-boobie party.  I told her I wanted to invite a bunch of friends and maybe 5 would come, maybe 25... I had no idea. It was not a benefit, I did not want to pay for anyone, but I wanted to offer a drink package for anyone who wanted to come. I can't commit to a number and I can't put down a deposit. Oh... and I may want to wear nothing more than a bra that night. Would she be ok with that?  Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds, but to my surprise Dee checked her calendar, March 1st was open, she already had a DJ booked for that night, and to top it all off, she herself was a breast cancer survivor so she was more than open to me just wearing a bra. Dee was very accommodating. She offered a $15 per person, beer, wine, and well drink package from 8-11 that I could advertise to my guests.  Now there was something in it for them too. A cheap night out!

So I advertised my BBB party as a "Breastacular Party" on a Facebook event and put it out there.  I had about 10-12 friends I thought would come, everyone else would just "like it" and laugh because it was a really weird thing to do.  I was hoping some friends would come, but I really just wanted to hang out, look sexy, and drink wine. I could do that myself in the worst case scenario.  Like I said earlier, I had nothing really sexy or revealing to wear. So knowing I wouldn't be needing any of my old bras, I set out to bedazzle one (my new favorite pasttime) to make it into acceptable sexy bar wear.  When I was researching, bedazzled bras already exist and are huge in bigger cities. They are called RAVE bras.   I went to Joann's with my 40% coupons in hand and bought $25 in glue on gems, beads, glitter, and some glue sticks for my glue guns and went to work. And here is the beautiful piece of work I came up with! Couldn't wait to wear it in public!


My event on Facebook gathered 46 people stating that they were going.  But this didn't really mean anything to me. I know how Facebook goes... it is all too easy to click YES I AM GOING and never have any intentions on showing up. I do it myself all the time. I was a little concerned because I had learned that a lot of my family was also going including Aunts, cousins, in laws... maybe wearing my bra in public was not such a good idea after all.  My Dad and his girlfriend were coming. Which lead to the debacle... do I invite my grandmother?  Most people would be like "Hell no!"... Grandmas do not belong in bars on Friday nights. But my Grandma was different. I have mentioned her before... she is an iridologist, a nutritionist, and an herbalist. She is 81 years old and still works full time and travels the world healing people.  She gave me my diet and supplement plan.  She still wears cooler clothes than I wear.  And she can drink. My Grandmother is very much a part of our every day life and with extended cousins, aunts, sisters, brothers, etc all coming... she would feel extremely hurt if I left her out. So the night before the party I called to invite her.  This wasn't supposed to be a family gathering, but if the rest of the family found out through facebook, I couldn't exclude her. But I warned her that they had shitty boxed wine and she wouldn't like it.

The Day of the Party

To my surprise as Friday came, I almost  had the nerve to wear the bra in public. I spent my lunch hour that day looking for a shirt to wear over it that was sheer. I found one, although a bit too colorful for me (it wasn't black or purple) but it would work. My husband and I got to Dee's 1/2 hour early in case there were any early folks. After all, 8:00 is kind of late for old people like us to just be going out... I usually turn in at 9:30.  When we got there, my husband's Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, cousin-in-law, and baby were there having dinner. They had come for the party! This shocked me because my husband and his family don't stay in touch like my family does. I hadn't even seen his aunt and uncle in many years. It was really great to see them but then a new emotion came over me that I can't explain. It was like I was thinking "why would these people I hardly know come out to see me?" I still can't explain that emotion. Shame? Shyness? Humility? I can't put my thumb on it. It wasn't good, it made me want to crawl into a shell and hide because up to this point it was all fun and games.  These guys weren't there to drink, they came to support me. I wasn't sure how that made me feel. I think I felt like I didn't deserve it and so then I felt like I was stealing it.  And there... now you know why I take Prozac! This is how my brain works.  (But the truth is, I stopped taking my Prozac when I was diagnosed, so I am 2 months anti-depressant free!). 

Dee gave me 50 bracelets to sell, so I camped out by the door and greeted people as they came in.  I learned quickly that many of the people didn't actually want to drink, they just wanted to be there (Again this confused me... not want to drink????)  So those people I did not sell a wrist band to because I didn't feel they would get their money's worth. I am not sure if I was supposed to do that or not, but that's what I did.

I spent most of the night with my shirt on over my bra although I flashed on demand. This got easier throughout the night as I drank more. I started with seltzer water with a bit of vodka, then I had wine, then I had beer, then by the end of the night I was drinking rum and diet coke in a big Red Solo Cup (and of course our DJ played that song for the occasion).



Me and my daughter's friend's Mom
showing off our bedazzled bras

At the end of the night, I turned in 4 unsold bracelets. So that means 46 people came out to hang out with me and see my cleavage. yay! Plus the people I didn't sell a bracelet to.  My kids' friends' parents came out to party... one of them even wore a bedazzled bra of her own! My cousins, extended cousins, sister and brother in laws, sisters, brothers, father, father's girlfriend, and yes, even my grandparents came out! Friends from work came out including some higher executives.  Friends from my past life at Ingram Micro who I kept in touch with on Facebook came out. Friends from high school who I kept in touch with on Facebook came out. In fact, they brought me the party favor of the night - Boobie Glasses! Not only did these glasses grace the face of everyone dancing that night, but I had planned on wearing them into surgery on Thursday... just to remind the surgeon that I wanted to walk out of there with a nice pair!



My sister and grandmother dancing with the boobie glasses

My cousin rockin the boobie glasses

My extended cousin (actually my grandfather's cousin I think) came and brought me a gift of encouragement including a bracelet and a pink ribbon Tshirt.  My friends from HS brought me the  boobie glasses and an Olive Garden gift certificate (which I had intended on using quickly!).  Halfway through the night, my brother requested "I Like Big Butts" by Sir Mix-a-Lot from the DJ and had dedicated it to me. Only in my family would this be a showing of love. :o) 
It was dedicated to me, so of course I had to dance.... and thank God I had a massage scheduled the next day... dancing is hard and painful.

Me showing off my bedazzled Rave bra
(wearing the boobie glasses)

Around 11:00 after I danced to the Big Butt song, Dee asked me to pull a winning ticket. That night was also Dee's Firehouse's 1 year anniversary so I thought there was a giveaway. Shit, I never even bought a ticket which sucks because I was feeling lucky! I pulled a name I didn't recognize so it must have been someone unrelated to me at the bar. To my surprise, Dee gave me and Rory $250! The ticket was for a 50/50 and I was the recipient of the 50! Shit. My makeup was spent at that time and I didn't bring anymore because, like I mentioned before, I don't know how to do the bar thing. I had that weird feeling again like I was stealing support that I didn't deserve.  Maybe this was a bad idea.... but I got over that quickly with a rum and diet coke.... 2 things my Grandmother warned me against, but I didn't care. She apparently didn't care either because she raised her toast to me as she was dancing with my sister wearing the boobie glasses.

The drink specials were from 8-11.  At 1:30 hubby and I were the last ones at the bar and so we ventured home.  This party was so much better than I had thought it was going to be! My only complaint was that there were so many people and that I was selling wristbands for the drink specials that I didn't have more than 5 minutes to spend with anyone. And I forgot to eat... this was my night to eat fried cheese sticks, and chicken wings, and french fries and I was so busy greeting people and taking money that I never had any of it. 

My takeaway from all this.... if you have breast cancer, do this. Have a party. Do it before you have your surgery or your lumpectomy... while you still feel good.  It's a great reason to get your entire support group together in one place. It will do everyone good to get together and have fun. At this point you are probably doctored out and stressed out anyway.  Don't we need more reasons to have parties anyway?