I have a beautiful daughter who is 7 years old. She is the most creative and imaginative person I know. If the imagination and character she shows at 7 is a sign of things to come, she has quite the bright future ahead of her. However, her skills are almost too honed at 7 years old to be normal.
My daughter can entertain herself for hours with silly little toys by telling herself stories about them, role playing, and singing. That's great! How wonderful that she can make things up like that! Unfortunately it doesn't stop there. She tells semi-strangers like her friends' parents or the lady at the after-school programs stories about herself, me, my husband and our lives. Some of her stories are little fibs that may be nothing more than a fantasy, like when she told someone her Grandmother is rich and she gives her hundreds of dollars for her birthday. Some of her stories are out right lies, like when she told daycare that I was a doctor. But here is the thing... she tells these stories with conviction. If you didn't already know that I wasn't a doctor, you may believe her. The woman at daycare even asked me if I was a doctor, even though I have been bringing my kids there 8-5 for the past 9 years.
What does it mean when your daughter is such a good liar that even Mom doesn't know when she is telling the truth or not... and it happens often. Story telling has just become such a normal part of her life, she thinks nothing of answering the phone and telling her Aunts and Uncles that her name is McKenzie (which it is not) and then telling them they have the wrong number and hanging up. Right now people giggle when I tell them this story... they say it is so cute. Well I watch Criminal Minds and Law and Order. Cute (and annoying) as it is, I can't help but wonder if I don't have a sociopath on my hands. So she's a story teller. So what. She can also be manipulative. Again, it's cute. Now. But at 7 my daughter can flirt with grown men better than I ever could. She knows when to play dumb (but does it even when it isn't appropriate) and can sweet talk her way with pretty much anything. I cannot do any of these things. If I could, I would be a lot farther in my career, that's for sure.
So my point is that my daughter has some dangerous gifts. How do I as a Mom make sure that she uses these gifts for good and not for evil? My first instinct would be to scorn her and tell her that the lies have to stop. But in her head they are not lies, they are stories. Would my telling her to stop thwart her imagination and suppress who she is? Any suggestions on this???
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
This Is Why I Am Not in Politics
This week I enjoyed the hypocrisy of the American political system. I say hypocrisy not because I have a structured, logical, intelligent opinion of how the system should work. I don't understand our system. I did understand it back in 11th grade PIG (Participation in government for those of us who are too old to remember back to high school). On paper, this democracy works, makes sense, and is inspiring. When I listen to the news and read the newspapers, it makes no sense. It seems that what we as citizens say we need and who we vote for are not in sync. We say we want change, but maybe we are too afraid to deviate from the status quo when it comes time to cast our ballot. Hence the hypocrisy.
Let's take a look at the governor's race in this great state of New York. Not because it was the most interesting but because as far as I knew, that was the only election there was. Imagine my surprise when I went to vote and I had to vote for no less than 10 other positions. Yes I had heard the campaign commercials with other names being thrown around other than Cuomo and Paladino, but I heard, not listened. I voted for who I wanted for governor and the rest I asked my kids which circle I should fill in. It's important for kids to partake in the political system. (That's my story and I am sticking to it). So the NY governor election had 2 main candidates: Carl Paladino and Andrew Cuomo. This is what I know. NYS sucks right now. We are over budget, people who don't deserve a handout live for free, people who desperately need help can't get it, our education system is demanding more of our children than they are mentally capable of, and I pay higher taxes on my humble home than my counterparts in California. So what do I want from a governor? Someone that is DIFFERENT than what we have now. Someone who is DIFFERENT than what we have had before now. Someone who thinks like me. Someone who has similar challenges as I do.
Now let me tell you what I know about the 2 candidates. Carl Paladino is a local businessman. Andrew Cuomo is the son of the ex-New York State governor, Mario Cuomo. Stop right there. In my mind, this is all I need to know. The definition of insanity is to do what you have always done and expect a different outcome. (I heard that somewhere, many times). So WHY ON EARTH would we vote in the offspring of what got us here in the first place. Nevermind democrat or republican. I don't know what it means. I like to think I, and the politicians who represent me, have the freedom to choose the correct course of action each and every time a problem is posed, not decide the course of action based on what my party-line says I should. And no label can ever accurately define my values, and I don't expect it to define my respresentation's either.
Many people believe that Carl Paladino had the governor position at hand at the time of the primaries in early fall, but lost his strong hold due to some public displays that swayed the popular opinion. I didn't follow these stories closely, but one incident involved a "violent" confrontation with the media. In this confrontation, Carl yelled back to a reporter that he sent his "goons" out to get his daughter and that he would "get him". Of course, everyone translated "get him" into a threat and the shit hit the fan. If you read the whole article, you will see that Paladino was agitated because a reporter went to the home of this 10 year old daughter and took photos of her practicing for her school dance through her bedroom window. I don't care if this man made the choice to put his life on display by running for governor. At no time should his decisions put the welfare and privacy of a child at risk. I believe that Carl's reaction was lame compared to what I would do in a similar situation. People said he "showed a violent streak". I don't want anyone to be my governor that would roll over and take it when the media violated his family. Come on, our media is going too far and he called them out on it. Good for him. I refer back to my previous paragraph, I want a governor who has the same values and me and thinks like me.
Then another criticism of this guy is that he forwarded on an email that depicted President Obama as a pimp and the first lady as a whore. Oh my gosh, this man forwarded on a political satire email! Oh the horror! Again, someone who thinks like me. The emails that I have received over the years.... and the emails I have forwarded on. Some were in very poor taste. Some I am ashamed of, but for goodness sakes I am a human. Is there anyone who is reading this who can honestly say that they are proud of every correspondence they have sent out? Can you say you have never laughed at a humor that was inappropriate? I sure can't. This man was a human, when he got a funny email, even though inappropriate, he shared it. Even better, he shared it with people he was close with, people he trusted, people who betrayed him and gave this information to parties who used it against him.
So I ramble on here about nothing. I don't know anything about Andrew Cuomo except that he is Mario Cuomo's son. I really don't know anything about Carl Paladino except that he is not a polician and he says the wrong thing at the wrong time sometimes. (Remember George W. Bush?) So I am not writing this to make a case for Paladino winning, which if you didn't follow, he did not. I am simply mapping out my thought process in this election. I am sure there are many citizens who are much more in the know about all the candidates and what they stand for. I am sure there are plenty of citizens who didn't even know we had elections this week.
So what's the point of this post? Here it is. The New York population has spoken. Our cry for no more politics as usual and a new Albany has ended with us electing the son of 1980's NY governor Mario Cuomo. I am sure 60% of NY's population had a good reason for doing this. Maybe he has good ideas on how to fix our state of affairs. I listened to his acceptance speech. I don't trust him. He reminds me of a preacher, and not the good kind that is all lovey and kind. At the very fundamental level, we voted in the son of an ex-governor. Tell me how this will not be politics as usual? This is why I am not in politics.
*Disclaimer - I know NOTHING about politics (hence my title). This article just shows how ignorant I really am about politics. This is purely the opinion of an American who is not really in the know. If you are entrenched in real, honest politics (smirk smirk) you will probably be offended by this article. By all means, feel free to leave your comments about why I am wrong. I can use the education!
Let's take a look at the governor's race in this great state of New York. Not because it was the most interesting but because as far as I knew, that was the only election there was. Imagine my surprise when I went to vote and I had to vote for no less than 10 other positions. Yes I had heard the campaign commercials with other names being thrown around other than Cuomo and Paladino, but I heard, not listened. I voted for who I wanted for governor and the rest I asked my kids which circle I should fill in. It's important for kids to partake in the political system. (That's my story and I am sticking to it). So the NY governor election had 2 main candidates: Carl Paladino and Andrew Cuomo. This is what I know. NYS sucks right now. We are over budget, people who don't deserve a handout live for free, people who desperately need help can't get it, our education system is demanding more of our children than they are mentally capable of, and I pay higher taxes on my humble home than my counterparts in California. So what do I want from a governor? Someone that is DIFFERENT than what we have now. Someone who is DIFFERENT than what we have had before now. Someone who thinks like me. Someone who has similar challenges as I do.
Now let me tell you what I know about the 2 candidates. Carl Paladino is a local businessman. Andrew Cuomo is the son of the ex-New York State governor, Mario Cuomo. Stop right there. In my mind, this is all I need to know. The definition of insanity is to do what you have always done and expect a different outcome. (I heard that somewhere, many times). So WHY ON EARTH would we vote in the offspring of what got us here in the first place. Nevermind democrat or republican. I don't know what it means. I like to think I, and the politicians who represent me, have the freedom to choose the correct course of action each and every time a problem is posed, not decide the course of action based on what my party-line says I should. And no label can ever accurately define my values, and I don't expect it to define my respresentation's either.
Many people believe that Carl Paladino had the governor position at hand at the time of the primaries in early fall, but lost his strong hold due to some public displays that swayed the popular opinion. I didn't follow these stories closely, but one incident involved a "violent" confrontation with the media. In this confrontation, Carl yelled back to a reporter that he sent his "goons" out to get his daughter and that he would "get him". Of course, everyone translated "get him" into a threat and the shit hit the fan. If you read the whole article, you will see that Paladino was agitated because a reporter went to the home of this 10 year old daughter and took photos of her practicing for her school dance through her bedroom window. I don't care if this man made the choice to put his life on display by running for governor. At no time should his decisions put the welfare and privacy of a child at risk. I believe that Carl's reaction was lame compared to what I would do in a similar situation. People said he "showed a violent streak". I don't want anyone to be my governor that would roll over and take it when the media violated his family. Come on, our media is going too far and he called them out on it. Good for him. I refer back to my previous paragraph, I want a governor who has the same values and me and thinks like me.
Then another criticism of this guy is that he forwarded on an email that depicted President Obama as a pimp and the first lady as a whore. Oh my gosh, this man forwarded on a political satire email! Oh the horror! Again, someone who thinks like me. The emails that I have received over the years.... and the emails I have forwarded on. Some were in very poor taste. Some I am ashamed of, but for goodness sakes I am a human. Is there anyone who is reading this who can honestly say that they are proud of every correspondence they have sent out? Can you say you have never laughed at a humor that was inappropriate? I sure can't. This man was a human, when he got a funny email, even though inappropriate, he shared it. Even better, he shared it with people he was close with, people he trusted, people who betrayed him and gave this information to parties who used it against him.
So I ramble on here about nothing. I don't know anything about Andrew Cuomo except that he is Mario Cuomo's son. I really don't know anything about Carl Paladino except that he is not a polician and he says the wrong thing at the wrong time sometimes. (Remember George W. Bush?) So I am not writing this to make a case for Paladino winning, which if you didn't follow, he did not. I am simply mapping out my thought process in this election. I am sure there are many citizens who are much more in the know about all the candidates and what they stand for. I am sure there are plenty of citizens who didn't even know we had elections this week.
So what's the point of this post? Here it is. The New York population has spoken. Our cry for no more politics as usual and a new Albany has ended with us electing the son of 1980's NY governor Mario Cuomo. I am sure 60% of NY's population had a good reason for doing this. Maybe he has good ideas on how to fix our state of affairs. I listened to his acceptance speech. I don't trust him. He reminds me of a preacher, and not the good kind that is all lovey and kind. At the very fundamental level, we voted in the son of an ex-governor. Tell me how this will not be politics as usual? This is why I am not in politics.
*Disclaimer - I know NOTHING about politics (hence my title). This article just shows how ignorant I really am about politics. This is purely the opinion of an American who is not really in the know. If you are entrenched in real, honest politics (smirk smirk) you will probably be offended by this article. By all means, feel free to leave your comments about why I am wrong. I can use the education!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
It's a Dog's Life
When you enter my house you may be surprised to see my yellow lab mutt sleeping on our new microsuede sectional sofa with quad reclining chairs and his head on a pillow. People say I spoil my dog. I don't spoil my dog, I just don't discipline him. He knows he is not allowed on the couch unless there is a blanket over it to protect it from dog smell. When he wants to lay down on the couch, he will jump on the blanket. If the blanket is not there, he will stare at where the blanket should be and whine until someone puts it there. And you know what, I am ok with that.
Compare this behavior to my children, ages 7 and 10. They know they are not allowed to eat in the family room. There are many an ingenious way to eat in the family room without breaking the rules, such as eating at the top of the family room stairs, where you can still see the TV but technically you are standing in the kitchen. But my children don't show me the respect to come up with any of these sneaky ways around the rules... they just break them. After they go to bed I come to sit in the family room and the end tables are littered with juice boxes, candy wrappers, plates, napkins (At least they use napkins once in a while), and popcorn crumbs. My dog is more respectful. When we first got him he wasn't allowed on the couch, we came to a compromise where he could be on the couch on the blanket. He doesn't break that rule.
Let's talk about cleanliness. My children each have a hamper in their rooms where their clothes should go after they have worn them. These hampers do not have lids on them, they are open at the top. If the children had to go through the extra step of opening them in order to put clothes in there, well then, I might understand the laziness. Instead my children throw, yes throw, their clothes on their floor. In many cases on the floor right in front of the hamper. When I come to bring their hampers to the laundry room, I pick up the rogue clothing and put them in the hamper. My dog also has a "hamper" in the family room. It consists of a milk crate where all his toys are. My dog knows how to pull his toys out. Sometimes he will pick up a toy and not want to play with it today. He drops it back in the "hamper." If a 3 year old SPCA clearance special can put his toys away, why can't my intelligent children put their clothes away?
And of course there is dinner time. I can usually fill up half a plate with the food my 7 year old daughter has spilled off her plate onto the table and what has fallen on the floor. My dog, without the aid of fingers or utensils, never needs cleaning up after his meals. In fact, he helps me by cleaning up after my 7 year old (let me say that in doing this, he does more chores than my children do).
Hygiene. I swear my son's fingers are too brittle to flush a toilet. Boys, just because you did not put anything in there that floats does not mean you shouldn't flush it. Now I am not going to sit here and tell you my dog flushes the toilet. I am not that lucky. But my dog does do his business in the same place in the yard all the time, and he does it in corners, away from the main walkways so if I get behind on cleaning up, I don't risk anyone stepping in it. When we go camping out in the country, he will walk into the woods to do his thing. Unfortunately, peeing is a whole different story. We can't walk 10 feet without a few stops for the dog. I guess I will have to deal with that.
So next time you visit my house and notice that my dog eats people food and lays on the couch or beds with his own pillow, maybe now you will understand. My dog, on most days, illustrates more common sense and respect for me and my house than my kids do. Besides a few table scraps, my dog does not act as if he is entitled to anything. My dog always acknowledges me and even better, he eats whatever I make for him. My dog eats less than my kids do. He only needs a bath once a month AND I can pay someone else to give him that bath. He doesn't talk back to me. He doesn't fight with other dogs or my kids. He can go for a ride in the car without partaking in a battle. He doesn't fight me for control of the car radio or TV Remote control. He can be left home alone. He doesn't require expensive Christmas presents. My list goes on and on....
If you have children and a dog, you are probably thinking "hmmm, that makes a lot of sense". If you don't have children yet, just get a dog!
Compare this behavior to my children, ages 7 and 10. They know they are not allowed to eat in the family room. There are many an ingenious way to eat in the family room without breaking the rules, such as eating at the top of the family room stairs, where you can still see the TV but technically you are standing in the kitchen. But my children don't show me the respect to come up with any of these sneaky ways around the rules... they just break them. After they go to bed I come to sit in the family room and the end tables are littered with juice boxes, candy wrappers, plates, napkins (At least they use napkins once in a while), and popcorn crumbs. My dog is more respectful. When we first got him he wasn't allowed on the couch, we came to a compromise where he could be on the couch on the blanket. He doesn't break that rule.
Let's talk about cleanliness. My children each have a hamper in their rooms where their clothes should go after they have worn them. These hampers do not have lids on them, they are open at the top. If the children had to go through the extra step of opening them in order to put clothes in there, well then, I might understand the laziness. Instead my children throw, yes throw, their clothes on their floor. In many cases on the floor right in front of the hamper. When I come to bring their hampers to the laundry room, I pick up the rogue clothing and put them in the hamper. My dog also has a "hamper" in the family room. It consists of a milk crate where all his toys are. My dog knows how to pull his toys out. Sometimes he will pick up a toy and not want to play with it today. He drops it back in the "hamper." If a 3 year old SPCA clearance special can put his toys away, why can't my intelligent children put their clothes away?
And of course there is dinner time. I can usually fill up half a plate with the food my 7 year old daughter has spilled off her plate onto the table and what has fallen on the floor. My dog, without the aid of fingers or utensils, never needs cleaning up after his meals. In fact, he helps me by cleaning up after my 7 year old (let me say that in doing this, he does more chores than my children do).
Hygiene. I swear my son's fingers are too brittle to flush a toilet. Boys, just because you did not put anything in there that floats does not mean you shouldn't flush it. Now I am not going to sit here and tell you my dog flushes the toilet. I am not that lucky. But my dog does do his business in the same place in the yard all the time, and he does it in corners, away from the main walkways so if I get behind on cleaning up, I don't risk anyone stepping in it. When we go camping out in the country, he will walk into the woods to do his thing. Unfortunately, peeing is a whole different story. We can't walk 10 feet without a few stops for the dog. I guess I will have to deal with that.
So next time you visit my house and notice that my dog eats people food and lays on the couch or beds with his own pillow, maybe now you will understand. My dog, on most days, illustrates more common sense and respect for me and my house than my kids do. Besides a few table scraps, my dog does not act as if he is entitled to anything. My dog always acknowledges me and even better, he eats whatever I make for him. My dog eats less than my kids do. He only needs a bath once a month AND I can pay someone else to give him that bath. He doesn't talk back to me. He doesn't fight with other dogs or my kids. He can go for a ride in the car without partaking in a battle. He doesn't fight me for control of the car radio or TV Remote control. He can be left home alone. He doesn't require expensive Christmas presents. My list goes on and on....
If you have children and a dog, you are probably thinking "hmmm, that makes a lot of sense". If you don't have children yet, just get a dog!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Argument for Fantasy Football
So if you are not a huge football fan, but enjoy watching a game here and there, you have still no doubt heard people talking about Fantasy Football. Until this season I thought FF was for nerds and geeks who have finally outgrown Dungeons and Dragons and needed a new outlet for their brainiac intellect.
If you are not familiar with how FF works, each person who has a team has to pick 15 players for their team from all the football players in the NFL. You choose the player you want, but have to go in order and wait your turn. The order is called the draft order and if you are one of the first picks in your league you can get one superstar player but by the time the the draft gets back to you for your second pick, the top picks will be claimed already (once the last person picks once, you go backwards towards the first pick again, it is called a 'snake'). Once you have drafted your team, each individual player's personal accomplishments in the regular season gets you points. Such accomplishments include a 10 yard run, a 50 yard catch, a touchdown run, a 40 yard field goal, etc. Just like if your team was an actual NFL team, you play another team in your league each weekend. The team with most points wins that game.
As I have mentioned, my 10 year old son joined the youth football league in town this year, so I have found myself hanging out with other football parents. A bunch of us got together and decided to create a free Fantasy Football league on ESPN.com. Each parent and each kid got their own team, and we had a little party at one of the parent's houses to do the draft.
Draft night was a blast, a regular old party... the kids in one corner of the house drinking pop and the adults in the other corner drinking beer. The draft itself was fun for the first 8-9 rounds but once we got to the 10th round it got boring and we just wanted it to be over. My advice is to fight for your first 8-9 people, after that, let the computer pick for you.
I was thinking that the draft was going to be the fun part and I would just log into ESPN once a week on Tuesdays and see how I did that weekend on points. I couldn't be more wrong. My hometown NFL team is the Buffalo Bills who are, as I type, 0-5 for the 2010-11 season. If you have ever watched a Bills game, you will understand when I tell you that it is more exciting to watch my 10 year old's league play. The Bills have so many awesome talents on the roster, but the team dynamic isn't there. Until Ryan Fitzpatrick took over the QB role 2 weeks ago, I was certain my son's league threw further than the Bills QB did on any given Sunday. When this is what you have to look forward to every Sunday (Thanks Mr. Ralph Wilson) you do one of 2 things: stop watching football or watch other games. It is hard to watch other games and get into it when you have no personal ties to either team. Fantasy Football gives you that personal connection. After a week or two, you start to remember your players, what teams they are on, and what their positions are. Now you have at least one favorite player on many NFL teams and seeing that you need 2 teams to have a game, you are almost guaranteed that any game you watch on TV has one of your players on it. Now, the entire NFL is your hometown team!
This game of points and strategies is highly addictive. I log into my ESPN account every day, even during the week, to see who is hurt that I should bench and who the team I am playing is playing so I know how I match up. In addition, I read the blogs by the experts to see who they are predicting to have breakout games. Then come the weekend, I watch the NFL games with my laptop open so I watch my players rack up the points. When my son and I played each other, the entire family came together that week and chose sides in the rivalry that ensued (funny how a rivalry brings us together). I have not faced off against my husband yet, but all I have to say is that I better win... beating my husband is the only strategy that motivates me.
So take this post as an invitation if you have a mediocre to crappy hometown team or no hometown team and you like football. Fantasty Football is a fun way to learn more about the NFL players today and a great motivator to get in the game and watch all the games that Sunday has to offer.
If you are not familiar with how FF works, each person who has a team has to pick 15 players for their team from all the football players in the NFL. You choose the player you want, but have to go in order and wait your turn. The order is called the draft order and if you are one of the first picks in your league you can get one superstar player but by the time the the draft gets back to you for your second pick, the top picks will be claimed already (once the last person picks once, you go backwards towards the first pick again, it is called a 'snake'). Once you have drafted your team, each individual player's personal accomplishments in the regular season gets you points. Such accomplishments include a 10 yard run, a 50 yard catch, a touchdown run, a 40 yard field goal, etc. Just like if your team was an actual NFL team, you play another team in your league each weekend. The team with most points wins that game.
As I have mentioned, my 10 year old son joined the youth football league in town this year, so I have found myself hanging out with other football parents. A bunch of us got together and decided to create a free Fantasy Football league on ESPN.com. Each parent and each kid got their own team, and we had a little party at one of the parent's houses to do the draft.
Draft night was a blast, a regular old party... the kids in one corner of the house drinking pop and the adults in the other corner drinking beer. The draft itself was fun for the first 8-9 rounds but once we got to the 10th round it got boring and we just wanted it to be over. My advice is to fight for your first 8-9 people, after that, let the computer pick for you.
I was thinking that the draft was going to be the fun part and I would just log into ESPN once a week on Tuesdays and see how I did that weekend on points. I couldn't be more wrong. My hometown NFL team is the Buffalo Bills who are, as I type, 0-5 for the 2010-11 season. If you have ever watched a Bills game, you will understand when I tell you that it is more exciting to watch my 10 year old's league play. The Bills have so many awesome talents on the roster, but the team dynamic isn't there. Until Ryan Fitzpatrick took over the QB role 2 weeks ago, I was certain my son's league threw further than the Bills QB did on any given Sunday. When this is what you have to look forward to every Sunday (Thanks Mr. Ralph Wilson) you do one of 2 things: stop watching football or watch other games. It is hard to watch other games and get into it when you have no personal ties to either team. Fantasy Football gives you that personal connection. After a week or two, you start to remember your players, what teams they are on, and what their positions are. Now you have at least one favorite player on many NFL teams and seeing that you need 2 teams to have a game, you are almost guaranteed that any game you watch on TV has one of your players on it. Now, the entire NFL is your hometown team!
This game of points and strategies is highly addictive. I log into my ESPN account every day, even during the week, to see who is hurt that I should bench and who the team I am playing is playing so I know how I match up. In addition, I read the blogs by the experts to see who they are predicting to have breakout games. Then come the weekend, I watch the NFL games with my laptop open so I watch my players rack up the points. When my son and I played each other, the entire family came together that week and chose sides in the rivalry that ensued (funny how a rivalry brings us together). I have not faced off against my husband yet, but all I have to say is that I better win... beating my husband is the only strategy that motivates me.
So take this post as an invitation if you have a mediocre to crappy hometown team or no hometown team and you like football. Fantasty Football is a fun way to learn more about the NFL players today and a great motivator to get in the game and watch all the games that Sunday has to offer.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Is Watching iCarly enough???
A few months after I became pregnant with my daughter back in 2002, I started to have these things called anxiety attacks. If you are 'normal' and never had an anxiety attack, I can best describe one as a sudden gut-wrenching feeling of "oh my God, everything in the world is broken and it's all my fault and I simply must do something to fix it!". Along with this feeling comes a sickness in the pit of your stomach like you might puke or poop yourself, redness in the ears and face, and sudden sweating. So like a good suburbian house wife I hauled butt to my doctor to find out what was wrong with me. And being a good suburbian doctor, my lady suggested a combination of medication (of course) and routine visits with a therapist to find the source of my anxiety.
So for 6 weeks I set out to do my due diligence and speak with a therapist. This particular therapist was a Sister of Mercy. Why my nice suburbian doctor felt that I would be most comfortable with a nun, God only knows. Just because I wear a Mercy Ring doesn't mean that my comfort zone is with nuns... but anywho.... My therapy sessions revolved around mostly why every time I looked at my husband sitting on the couch I became infuriated (as I carry the laundry up and down the stairs) and how for no particular reason my 2 year old son is all of a sudden wearing on my every nerve no matter what he does or say and no matter how normal his behavior is for a 2 year old. Finally, at what would become my last session, the nun has her "A-ha!" moment.... she says to me, "Don't you know how to think like a child?" Um.....no! I spent 28 years of my life learning to NOT think like a child and how to think like an adult. I think with 1 and half kids I may have finally succeeded and now can actually say to my self "I am a functioning adult" So I very calmly ignore my ears which are getting all hot and turning red and I say to her "No, as a matter of fact I do not know how to think like a child". And then she proceeds to tell me how I will continue to have all these anxiety and anger issues until I learn how to think like a child. "No, I think I will call for my next appointment, thank you."
And so herein lies my quandry.... I finally have got a grasp on what I think I needed to learn to think and act like a fully functioning adult. Now I have to 'learn' how to think like a child? Why does this not seem right? I always thought my role as a parent was to teach my children how to think like an adult. So am I to believe that I need to digress (is that spelled right) back to toddlerhood to be a good parent? Well at the time, I was busy changing diapers, doing tons of laundry, packing diaper bags, reading "What to Expect" for the second time, painting and decorating a nursery, planning Thanksgiving dinner for 28 people, cleaning the house, and working full time.... After choosing not to see my therapist again, I forgot about this challenge that was put before me. Learn to think like a child.
Well my daughter was born eventually and came home. My anger and anxiety issues never really went away, but the anxiety definitely got worse. With all that is wrong with this world, I brought not one but TWO children into it? And how in the world was I supposed to protect TWO children from the evil I see every day. Those of you who are in the know might call this postpartum depression. I refused to give in to PPD so I called it anxiety disorder. I loved having babies. I hated having toddlers, and now I have 'tweens. 'Tweens are approaching teenagedom but not quite there yet. Definitely not a tot anymore and much more independent than a kindergartner or preschooler. I like the 'tweens. I feel like I can actually remember when I was that age (I may have been 14 or 15, but in my head it feels like I was 8 or 9). So now, 10 years into this parenting journey, I like to think I have learned to "think like a child". After all, I know who has a cell phone in the 5th grade and who doesn't. I know who is grounded, who got a new Nintendo DSi, who has lice, and what new episode of iCarly is on this Saturday. Not only do I know what this week's new iCarly episode is about but I plan on being here right at 8pm to watch it. (A little secret between you and me, when the kids are watching iCarly or Wizards of Waverly place at bedtime, I don't change the channel after I tuck them in). Does this count as "thinking like a child"?
Even more of a brain teaser for me, if I have in fact learned to think like a child, should I celebrate or be ashamed? Is it wrong for me to be fans of the Drake and Josh fan page on Facebook? Should I remove Hannah Montana (AKA Miley Cyress) from my iPod? Or should I embrace this new found talent I have acquired and sport my new Justin Bieber Tshirt to my son's football game on Saturday. And what was that kid really thinking at the McDonald's drive through when I gave him the "cheese touch" last Friday in response to a dare from 3 little girls in the back seat?
So for 6 weeks I set out to do my due diligence and speak with a therapist. This particular therapist was a Sister of Mercy. Why my nice suburbian doctor felt that I would be most comfortable with a nun, God only knows. Just because I wear a Mercy Ring doesn't mean that my comfort zone is with nuns... but anywho.... My therapy sessions revolved around mostly why every time I looked at my husband sitting on the couch I became infuriated (as I carry the laundry up and down the stairs) and how for no particular reason my 2 year old son is all of a sudden wearing on my every nerve no matter what he does or say and no matter how normal his behavior is for a 2 year old. Finally, at what would become my last session, the nun has her "A-ha!" moment.... she says to me, "Don't you know how to think like a child?" Um.....no! I spent 28 years of my life learning to NOT think like a child and how to think like an adult. I think with 1 and half kids I may have finally succeeded and now can actually say to my self "I am a functioning adult" So I very calmly ignore my ears which are getting all hot and turning red and I say to her "No, as a matter of fact I do not know how to think like a child". And then she proceeds to tell me how I will continue to have all these anxiety and anger issues until I learn how to think like a child. "No, I think I will call for my next appointment, thank you."
And so herein lies my quandry.... I finally have got a grasp on what I think I needed to learn to think and act like a fully functioning adult. Now I have to 'learn' how to think like a child? Why does this not seem right? I always thought my role as a parent was to teach my children how to think like an adult. So am I to believe that I need to digress (is that spelled right) back to toddlerhood to be a good parent? Well at the time, I was busy changing diapers, doing tons of laundry, packing diaper bags, reading "What to Expect" for the second time, painting and decorating a nursery, planning Thanksgiving dinner for 28 people, cleaning the house, and working full time.... After choosing not to see my therapist again, I forgot about this challenge that was put before me. Learn to think like a child.
Well my daughter was born eventually and came home. My anger and anxiety issues never really went away, but the anxiety definitely got worse. With all that is wrong with this world, I brought not one but TWO children into it? And how in the world was I supposed to protect TWO children from the evil I see every day. Those of you who are in the know might call this postpartum depression. I refused to give in to PPD so I called it anxiety disorder. I loved having babies. I hated having toddlers, and now I have 'tweens. 'Tweens are approaching teenagedom but not quite there yet. Definitely not a tot anymore and much more independent than a kindergartner or preschooler. I like the 'tweens. I feel like I can actually remember when I was that age (I may have been 14 or 15, but in my head it feels like I was 8 or 9). So now, 10 years into this parenting journey, I like to think I have learned to "think like a child". After all, I know who has a cell phone in the 5th grade and who doesn't. I know who is grounded, who got a new Nintendo DSi, who has lice, and what new episode of iCarly is on this Saturday. Not only do I know what this week's new iCarly episode is about but I plan on being here right at 8pm to watch it. (A little secret between you and me, when the kids are watching iCarly or Wizards of Waverly place at bedtime, I don't change the channel after I tuck them in). Does this count as "thinking like a child"?
Even more of a brain teaser for me, if I have in fact learned to think like a child, should I celebrate or be ashamed? Is it wrong for me to be fans of the Drake and Josh fan page on Facebook? Should I remove Hannah Montana (AKA Miley Cyress) from my iPod? Or should I embrace this new found talent I have acquired and sport my new Justin Bieber Tshirt to my son's football game on Saturday. And what was that kid really thinking at the McDonald's drive through when I gave him the "cheese touch" last Friday in response to a dare from 3 little girls in the back seat?
Friday, October 8, 2010
My first blog - October 8th 2010
Boy is the world in trouble now... I had no idea that I could write my thoughts down for the world to see for FREE? Wow.
I really like to talk. I talk a lot, and I talk to anyone... everyone... myself even. Often. I can find anything at all to talk about. A good portion of what I say is inappropriate. By that I mean that my statements sound completely normal to me when I say them, but hours later, 'witnesses' say to me "gosh, I can't believe you said that. Wow, you have guts". The truth is that I have no guts, in fact I am deathly afraid of conflict. I just lack the part of the brain that says "what you are saying is not socially acceptable". So if I have ever offended you, I assure you it was not on purpose. It is not my style to start a fight.
So knowing how much I like to talk, you can imagine how much I like to write!
I am a 30-something wife and mother of 2. I have a boy who is 10 and a girl who is 7 and a half. In my mind, I deeply screwed both of my kids up early in life. My son has no self esteem whatsoever, and I believe that is because when I had him, there were other children I knew whose behavior I didn't like. Little did I know that this was NORMAL child behavior. So growing up as a tot, I scourned my son for mimicing those "normal behaviors". By the time he was 5 I realized what I had done so I tried to change my ways for my daughter. Have you ever tried to overcompensate with your car to come out of a 360 spin? That's what I did with my daughter. For an entire year of her life, she insisted on being called Princess Genevieve. That would be all well and good but her name is not Genevieve. Long story short, she believes she is not a princess, but in fact a queen. She believes herself to be a rock star when in fact she is more tone deaf than even me. She can do no wrong... and she knows it.
You will often catch me pleading with my husband to have another child. I have a 4 bedroom house, 1.5 baths, a boy, a girl, a husband, a dog, and a minivan. Why in the world would I want another child you may ask? Simple. Screwed up that one, screwed up that one... everyone gets 3 strikes right? Please just give me one more try, I know I can get this right!
So that is my challenge at home. At work I am another person. I spent many years learning technology and trends in a new market called Digital Signage. I love it, and it comes easy to me. However, some poor experiences in recent years led me to look to a new market to persue my career in. So now I am tackling the world of VoIP (Voice over IP). I have a mild technology background... I know what the current version of windows is, I know what a T1 line is and what DSL is, and I know how to use Facebook. Now I am submersed in this idea of making voice and video calls over the internet. When I interviewed with my current employer, I thought... ok, I get it. Easy peasy. The idea of it is, how it works is not so easy. It has been almost a year now and I feel like about once a week I have my "aha!" moment where I finally get something that has been told to me a dozen times already. Learning a new trade as a thirty-something is not as easy as it was when I was 22. This is my challenge from 8-5. If you are new to VoIP maybe you could follow along with me and we can share our "aha!" moments....
So this blog is the story of my life - personal and career. I am a story teller you see. Most of my stories are mildly entertaining, but the lessons learned and the keen observations and questions I pose may have you looking at things in a different way. My dry sense of humor and sarcasm may amuse you. If not, oh heck, this is like having a diary again.... even if nobody ever reads it, at least I have a record of the deterioration of my mind... this way, when I am in the looney bin and the doctors are asking "how did she get this way? When did it start?" there will be physical evidence they can research. And so I begin....
I really like to talk. I talk a lot, and I talk to anyone... everyone... myself even. Often. I can find anything at all to talk about. A good portion of what I say is inappropriate. By that I mean that my statements sound completely normal to me when I say them, but hours later, 'witnesses' say to me "gosh, I can't believe you said that. Wow, you have guts". The truth is that I have no guts, in fact I am deathly afraid of conflict. I just lack the part of the brain that says "what you are saying is not socially acceptable". So if I have ever offended you, I assure you it was not on purpose. It is not my style to start a fight.
So knowing how much I like to talk, you can imagine how much I like to write!
I am a 30-something wife and mother of 2. I have a boy who is 10 and a girl who is 7 and a half. In my mind, I deeply screwed both of my kids up early in life. My son has no self esteem whatsoever, and I believe that is because when I had him, there were other children I knew whose behavior I didn't like. Little did I know that this was NORMAL child behavior. So growing up as a tot, I scourned my son for mimicing those "normal behaviors". By the time he was 5 I realized what I had done so I tried to change my ways for my daughter. Have you ever tried to overcompensate with your car to come out of a 360 spin? That's what I did with my daughter. For an entire year of her life, she insisted on being called Princess Genevieve. That would be all well and good but her name is not Genevieve. Long story short, she believes she is not a princess, but in fact a queen. She believes herself to be a rock star when in fact she is more tone deaf than even me. She can do no wrong... and she knows it.
You will often catch me pleading with my husband to have another child. I have a 4 bedroom house, 1.5 baths, a boy, a girl, a husband, a dog, and a minivan. Why in the world would I want another child you may ask? Simple. Screwed up that one, screwed up that one... everyone gets 3 strikes right? Please just give me one more try, I know I can get this right!
So that is my challenge at home. At work I am another person. I spent many years learning technology and trends in a new market called Digital Signage. I love it, and it comes easy to me. However, some poor experiences in recent years led me to look to a new market to persue my career in. So now I am tackling the world of VoIP (Voice over IP). I have a mild technology background... I know what the current version of windows is, I know what a T1 line is and what DSL is, and I know how to use Facebook. Now I am submersed in this idea of making voice and video calls over the internet. When I interviewed with my current employer, I thought... ok, I get it. Easy peasy. The idea of it is, how it works is not so easy. It has been almost a year now and I feel like about once a week I have my "aha!" moment where I finally get something that has been told to me a dozen times already. Learning a new trade as a thirty-something is not as easy as it was when I was 22. This is my challenge from 8-5. If you are new to VoIP maybe you could follow along with me and we can share our "aha!" moments....
So this blog is the story of my life - personal and career. I am a story teller you see. Most of my stories are mildly entertaining, but the lessons learned and the keen observations and questions I pose may have you looking at things in a different way. My dry sense of humor and sarcasm may amuse you. If not, oh heck, this is like having a diary again.... even if nobody ever reads it, at least I have a record of the deterioration of my mind... this way, when I am in the looney bin and the doctors are asking "how did she get this way? When did it start?" there will be physical evidence they can research. And so I begin....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)