Reconstruction Consult #1
On Wednesday January 16th I met with my first reconstructive surgeon, also called a plastic surgeon, to discuss my options for breast reconstruction with implants. I was expecting it to be a discussion about how big or small I wanted my new breasts to be and whether I wanted silicon or saline implants. I also expected to come in, shake hands, and schedule for later that week. I knew she had an opening and I knew what I wanted. Easy appointment, right? The consultation appointment went nothing like I expected.
Once again at 9am I showed up for my doctor appointment with my entertainment entourage. Unfortunately for me, we had literally no wait time in which to be mischievous. I swear after the 2 hours we spent trashing Dr. Dougherty's office, he called ahead to everyone... they locked down all their office 'accessories' such as cotton balls and tongue depressors, and wouldn't leave us alone in the patient room for more than 5 minutes. I guess I should have been happy for the short wait time, but I wasn't. Perhaps I was not in the right frame of mind when the doctor came in to talk to me... I hadn't laughed enough yet that day.
At this point, I had known that I had cancer for 9 days and had already seen an iridologist, a breast surgeon, and an oncologist. I was very certain of my predicament and that the outlook was great. With my new diet and the herbal supplements I was on, I was already down 10 lbs since January 8th, had brand new boobs on the way and I was convinced I was going to end up on the other side of this cancer thing better than when I started. So I felt somewhat condescended upon when the Doctor came in and began a pep talk about how I am going to be fine and that her and I were going to get to be really close over the next few years. Point #1 - I know I am going to be fine, but thanks for reiterating it. I am smiling and laughing, do I look like I need to be spoken to like a scared child? I can't really hold that against her, I am sure people with cancer come in with all sorts of feelings and how is she supposed to know where I am in the mental process of accepting cancer. Point 2 - YEARS??? I was hoping to put this entire ordeal behind me in 3-6 months.
This was when the doctor reviewed with me again what Dr. Lindfield had told me earlier in the week. Luckily, Dad's girlfriend took impeccable notes during every visit because I had forgotten or not really heard everything Dr Lindfield told me during my visit with her. This doctor reiterated how the breast reconstruction was going to work. First, the mastectomy and most of the breast skin is removed. Then deflated expanders are inserted under the pectoral muscle and I am sewn up. After surgery, every 2-3 weeks, I would come back to her and she would use a syringe to pump some more saline into the expander. When she and I were comfortable with the size, she would allow the skin and muscle to adapt for 2-3 months, and then operate again to remove the expanders and install saline or silicone implants. The Doctor told me that I didn't have to decide on saline or silicone until they were ready to install the permanent implants, so she didn't even have one to show me.
OK, so what went wrong? Two things this doctor told me made me second guess my decision to get the full mastectomy with implant reconstruction with her. First, she told me she could not get my breast size as big as it is now. I don't consider myself very big chested. I wear a DD, but I am also a very big girl. She said she could get me maybe to a C. If I had to balance my 'quite curvy' butt with only a C cup size in front, I would fall backwards all the time! God gave me DD's so I have equilibrium and can stand upright! This was just not going to work for me.
Secondly, the doctor breached the sacred oath. You know how you never tell a man that his package is small or smaller than he thinks? The same goes for women and their breast size. Once the doctor examined me, she told me that I have been wearing the wrong bra size for years and my breast size is only a C. Hmmm. I have been measured multiple times at multiple stores... they must have all been wrong? Hi, have a nice day... not hired.
Needless to say, I did not book my mastectomy for that Friday and I told the Doctor I would discuss my options and call back. Later that night, I got an appointment for a second opinion with one of the other doctors that Doctor Lindfield recommended. I just couldn't accept that I would end up with implants that were smaller than my natural breasts. Where is the justice in that? I needed to set out to see if I could get a different answer from someone else.
On a side note, even though I was insulted, I can take the criticism, so that weekend I took my Kohl's cash and bought a new bra....a size C. If I lose another 15-20 lbs I may be able to wear it in public. Otherwise I am overflowing in the front and on the sides. I stand by the DD measurement I had last time at Cacique, thank you very much. FOR SALE - OLGA DEMI CUP BRA, 38C, Never worn.
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